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5 July, 2004

Ray On The Ten Spot?

There's a growing national movement to put Ray Charles' image on the $10 bill. You can sign a petition here.

We respectfully submit that to ameliorate the injustices mentioned above, the Department of the Treasury should take the following actions: Issue a new series of ten dollar bill with a portrait of Mr. Ray Charles on its face.

(Thanks Beukeboom)

Posted on 5 July, 2004

Weapons Of Mass Destruction

Here's a National Lampoon parody of a Consumer Reports issue that deals with weapons of mass destruction.

You'll find lots of informative product reviews, a handy buyer's guide, and a feature story on how to conceal your weapons.

So your insurgent coup is scheduled for this Friday, but you're totally empty-handed. We've all been there, asking those same questions. Where should I buy? What's the right weapon for me? How do I close the deal?

These questions, and many others, plague novice WMD buyers. We asked weapons and munitions expert Professor David S. Mancuso of the University of Michigan for his tips.

Posted on 5 July, 2004

I Mowed The Lawn...

... and it may be the last time I ever mow a lawn for the rest of my life. I've always enjoyed doing yard work, and I'll probably miss it in Arizona. But I guess the desert vegetation will require some maintenance.

As I made my final trip around the yard, it occurred to me that I've changed the entire landscaping here. Everything. I think only one plant remains from what was here when I bought the place nine years ago -- a Mexican fan palm that was about five feet tall. Now it's about 25-30 feet tall.

I hope the new owner enjoys it as much as I did. More than likely, he'll do what most people around here do: hire a lawn mowing service. It'll be interesting to come back in a few years and see how it looks.

Posted on 5 July, 2004

Vote For Kerry, Go To Confession

From ABC News: Pro-Choice Catholics Told to Confess.

The archbishop of St. Louis, who has said he would deny Holy Communion to Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry, now says Roman Catholic voters who support abortion rights should go to confession before taking the sacrament.

Archbishop Raymond Burke said Thursday that Catholics cannot vote for candidates or policies in support of abortion and be worthy to receive Communion.

But it's OK to vote for candidates who condone killing thousands of innocent people in the name of a war.

The Rev. James Halstead, a theologian and head of religious studies at DePaul University, called Burke's position "poor pastoring, counterproductive and questionable theology."

Not only that, Burke is an ignorant moron.

Posted on 5 July, 2004

Who Killed John Lennon?

Steven Lightfoot has a theory. Mark David Chapman didn't kill John Lennon. Stephen King did! And Nixon and Reagan were also involved. See The truth about John Lennon's murder.

The evidence, specifically, is government codes in the bold print headlines of Time, Newsweek, and U.S. News and World Report magazines that were printed shortly before, during, and after the night of December 8, 1980. Hints in the headlines that you won't find anywhere else that plug into John Lennon's assassination with up to 70% frequency at times.

The Web site has some information, buy you'll have to send $5.00 to get all of the evidence.

Posted on 5 July, 2004

Happy Birthday Shallow

Rumor has it that today is Shallow's 30th birthday. If that's true, happy Birthday, Shallow! If it's false, never mind...

Posted on 5 July, 2004

50 Shekel

I've got to start expanding my musical horizons. I've never even heard of 50 Shekel.

50 Shekel has emerged as the new Jewish Hip Hop artist of his generation. If you haven't already heard his spiel, you are in for a supreme kosher treat. His lyrics are hotter than homemade latkes on a Hanukah night and his rhyming comes straight from his Hebrew heart. Inspired by Hip Hop recording artist, 50 Cent's top-of-the-chart song, In Da Club, this Brooklyn raised Hebrew Homie finally found something to spiel about.

Here's some sample lyrics:

Up in the shul eatin latkes treats
Jews poppin chewitz as I pop these beats
Yehudah's Macabees don't be lightin trees
So get this party started in the MJE
Waitin three-sixty-five to light my menorah
Spinnin the dreidel as we read from the torah
Find out each year what we had to go through
Lord thank you regardless for making me a Jew

(via Everlasting Blort)

Posted on 5 July, 2004

New Design For Magnetbox

At first I thought it was an HTML or CSS coding accident. But I think the new design for Magnetbox is intentional.

Posted on 5 July, 2004

America's Ketchup

W Ketchup is America's Ketchup.

You don't support Democrats. Why should your ketchup? W Ketchup is made in America, from ingredients grown in the USA.

According to the FAQ, "W" stands for "Washington."

(via Tom McMahon)

Posted on 5 July, 2004

Darren's Excel Pet Peeve

Darren Barefoot writes: A Pet Peeve About Excel.

I do have one complaint about Excel, though. It's not so much about the program, but about how people use it.

They use it for everything.

Groceries, party attendees, spelling tests--anything that's in a list gets inserted into Excel.

Let me offer some humble advice: when you've got lots of data, use Excel. When you've got a list, NotePad or your email client will do just fine.

I will have to disagree. There is nothing wrong with using Excel to store simple lists. I do it all the time. It makes it easy to sort list items (if needed), and a single button click can apply formatting that makes a mundane list look presentable (if needed). And the tabbed interface is also useful for keeping multiple lists.

But then again, what do I know about Excel?

(via Steel White Table)

Posted on 5 July, 2004

Saddam The Romance Writer

From Prospect Magazine: Saddam the romancier.

In an isolated prison cell, an ageing, mustachioed gentleman sits writing at a small canteen table. Recent months have seen a stark change in his fortunes. Gone are the Gucci suits and French hair dye. Gone is the entourage of supporters. The writer has very little outside contact now, save the occasional visits from the Red Cross and his interrogators.

He has no idea if the novel he is working on, an epic allegorical tale of passion and revenge, will ever be published.

(Thanks John Beardsworth)

Posted on 5 July, 2004

Funeral Depot

People are dying to get products from this place: The Funeral Depot. If you're in a hurry, they offer...

Free Next Day Casket Delivery We Guarantee it!

And if your departed loved has a sense of humor, you'll want the Return to Sender coffin.

(Thanks Curtis)

Posted on 5 July, 2004

Fake Sushi

Two sources for fake sushi:

(via Pop Culture Junk Mail)

Posted on 5 July, 2004

Sleeping In Airports

A budget traveler's guide to Sleeping In Airports.

For travelers who are REALLY on a budget and are looking for a way to skim a few bucks off their travel expenses, why not consider sleeping in an airport? Many airports are actually better than local lodging. And to top it off - IT'S FREE! Your friends and family may look at you funny when you return with your airport stories, but that's only part of the fun.

It seems that the best airport for sleeping is Singapore's Changi airport. The worst is that airport in Papua New Guinea.

Posted on 5 July, 2004

Microsoft's Latest Acquisition

News Item: Microsoft acquires the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

In a surprise move that's sending tremors throughout the software community, as well as Washington, Microsoft announced their acquisition of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), earlier today.

"We were looking for additional resources to help combat the destructive force of computer viruses," said Microsoft spokesman Richard Shaft. "We had heard that the CDC had expertise in tracking the spread of viruses, determining their point of origin, and distributing anti-viral materials. Since this fulfills a corporate need, we proceeded with an acquisition offer which was acceptable to the CDC's owners."

Posted on 5 July, 2004

Disfarmer

Disfarmer:

Black and white photographs of rural America in the 1940s.

Shown here is "Two Young Boys, in a Fedora and a Garrison Cap."

(via Penny Dreadful)

Posted on 5 July, 2004

Search Tricks

from Breaking Windows: Fun with Google searches.

It describes how to find open directories on the Web that contain all kinds of stuff� -- like movies, MP3, and games.

Posted on 5 July, 2004

Sports Hair

Attention sports fans, here's Sports Hair -- the original website for those fascinated by sports hairstyles.

I have constantly been mocked for my affinity for men's hair. Being a big sports fan means I naturally mention to my friends when we are watching a game what I think of this guy's perm or that guy's mullet. If someone exhibits style I feel duty bound to point it out. However, I am not satisfied simply showing my friends- I now want to show the world what I think. Perhaps this will be the outlet for my constant hairstyle commentary- either way, prepare to enjoy yourself in this shrine to sporty locks!

Shown here is Johnny Damon.

Is it Jesus? Encino Man? Nope, It's another Boston Red Sox player, Johnny Damon. With quite possibly the most unique look in the Majors today Damon keeps it really old school with long ass hair and a burly ass beard.

We're still not sure why Damon decided to go with this look but we certainly don't look forward to him going back to the old clean cut Damon.

Posted on 5 July, 2004

Blogs By Their Covers

Here's a blog that posts graphics from other blogs: Blogs By Their Covers.

know, I know, how many more design showcases do we need in this world? As always, at least one more.

As the title of this site suggests, I'm judging these blogs by their covers. Am I really that shallow? For the purposes of this project, the answer is yes.

Posted on 5 July, 2004

Modern Vagrant

Here's an online magazine that I didn't know existed: Modern Vagrant.

Modern Vagrant is the first online resource dedicated to the plight of the disenfranchised. Down-and-out? Whacked on smack? Just a lazy bum? Bookmark us. Now.

Apparently, the site is suffering from a Y2K problem. The date listed below the masthead is Monday, July 5, 104.

Posted on 5 July, 2004

The Final Digit Of Pi

This could change everything: Mathematicians Stunned when Computer Reaches Final Digit of Pi.

A team of Japanese researchers at a leading national university have upended the entire scientific world when it unexpectedly calculated the value of pi to 1.3511 trillion places, which is apparently the final digit in this number previously thought to be infinite.

"We don't understand," said visibly panicked project team member Makoto Kudo. "We were just trying to set a new world record for most digits calculated. We had no idea it would run out. Honestly!"

"We just wanted to get to 1.5 trillion places," said Kudo. "We intended no harm."

Posted on 5 July, 2004

Hate Groups, Mapped

From the Southern Poverty Law Center: Active U.S. Hate Groups in 2003.

Click on a state, and find out which hate groups exist in your state.

Posted on 5 July, 2004

Fried Rat Photos

Here are some gruesome photos of a rat that met an untimely death inside of a computer.

Posted on 5 July, 2004

An Entertaining 404 Error

When you try to access a Web page that doesn't exist, it raises a 404 error. Most of the time, these error screens are dull. This one isn't.

Posted on 5 July, 2004