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14 May, 2004

Picasa The Spammer

OK Picasa, I've had enough of your spam. It's coming from several sources. I guess their marketing plan is something like this: SPAM EVERYONE, ESPECIALLY BLOGGERS.

I have no interest in your software, and I will not write about it on my blog. Oh wait, I just did.

Don't buy software from spammers.

Posted on 14 May, 2004

Will The REAL Toad Please Stand Up?

Earlier today, we had a little contest to guess what Toad looks like. I'm sad to announce that the answer is "None of the above." That's right, ladies and gentlemen. We still have no idea what Toad looks like, and we probably never will.

You see, Toad is an enigma. No, he's an enigma wrapped up in a riddle, placed into a box of mystery, and mailed to Unknownsville, USA without enough postage. I suspect that even Mrs. Toad has no idea what her devoted husband looks like (he's said to wear a mask at home).

One theory is that Toad is in the Witness Protection Program. Or else he's a celebrity or famous athlete, and chooses to remain anonymous. Or maybe he's wanted by the FBI.

But that's OK. We're probably better off not knowing what he looks like.

By the way, the most frequent guess was Contestant B, who is actually a musician named Jack Williams (who should probably send a few CDs to Whole Wheat Radio). Contestant C, of course, is Todd the Guitar God. The others are simply random Toad-like faces I snagged from Google Images.

I was tempted to just say that Toad is Contestant E, and let Toad protest. But that would turn into a lengthy court battle, and neither of us really wants that.

Thanks for playing. Maybe we'll do it again. Any volunteers? Wendy?

Posted on 14 May, 2004

Congrats, Dick!

Did you know that Excel blogger Dick Kusleika tickles the ivories? Not only that, he's been adjudicated. I don't know what that means, but I think it's a good thing.

Way to go, Dick -- the master of two types of keyboards.

Posted on 14 May, 2004

More Answers To Questions

I found some leftover questions from yesterday, so I figured I'd answer them.

* * *

Do you prefer to drink beer from a bottle, can, or glass? IT MATTERS. (asked by Jody Cairns)

Well it doesn't matter at all to me. But if all three were sitting on a table, I'd probably take the bottle.

* * *

Who named earth? I really want to know the answer to this but doubt you can answer this. (asked by Mike)

I have no idea, but I found this on Google: The origin of the word "Earth" is unknown and its origin lost in antiquity, but logically and linguistically it can be traced back to Eridu.

* * *

Do you approve or disapprove of the way George W. Bush is handling his Presidency? (asked by Wendy!)

Disapprove. In fact, I would probably disapprove of the way every president handles his presidency. They're all just politicians, after all.

* * *

What is your favorite guitar solo of all time? (asked by Jeff)

"Tin Pan Alley," by Stevie Ray Vaughan.

* * *

What is the most inappropriate or unintended or weird use of Excel you have witnessed as an insider? (asked by Eric)

Somebody (I won't mention any names) wrote a convoluted and completely unusable add-in that turns Excel into a Word processor. He sells it for $100. He sent me a copy one time, and I couldn't believe it.

* * *

Do you shoot NEF or RAW - and why? And have you ever tried to program Photoshop from Excel? (asked by John Beardsworth)

I shoot in JPG format 100% of the time. I realize that RAW produces better image quality, but I rarely print any photos. For viewing on a computer screen JPG works fine for me, and RAW is too much trouble to work with. If I ever have a need to shoot something that's very important, I'd probably use RAW.

* * *

I export files from a database into Excel. To clean it up I need to write a macro that looks for a 1 in A1 and then deletes the contents of the entire row. It then needs to go to A2 and do the same thing. Once it is finished with column A it can stop. (asked by Bob)

Try something like this (notice that it starts from the bottom and works its way up):

Sub DeleteRows()
Dim LastCell As Long, RowNum As Long
LastCell = Range("A65536").End(xlUp).Row
For RowNum = LastCell To 1 Step -1
If Cells(RowNum, 1) = 1 Then Rows(RowNum).Delete
Next RowNum
End Sub

* * *

What is the best wine to serve with chittlins? (asked by Toad)

We usually pour Two Buck Chuck Cabernet when serving chittlins.

* * *

How much time do you think you spend per day on the blog? (asked by John)

It probably averages about three hours per day lately. This is spread out over the course of the day, not all at once. That's far too much time to spend, but I enjoy it and it doesn't detract from my real work. I guess it qualifies as a hobby.

* * *

Is this big number 12345678910111213141516171819 divisible by 19? (asked by Muhammad Jawad Mirza)

Just go here and follow the instructions.

* * *

Did Dr. Hook ever get on the cover of the Rolling Stone? (asked by Debbie)

Yes they did.

Posted on 14 May, 2004

Googling People

From the Globe and Mail: Google and your 'personal brand'.

"If you don't show up in Google, do you exist?" asks branding specialist William Arruda on MarketingProfs.com. "Quantitatively speaking, you are somebody if your Google results cover multiple pages. You are a really unknown brand, however, if Google can't find you."

I've gotten into the habit of googling just about everyone I meet. I found out some very interesting things about the woman who's buying my condo.

Posted on 14 May, 2004

Call In Sick

It's your duty: Phone in sick.

Everything they told you is wrong. Working long hours in a depressing job is not in accord with the idea of a "free market". But phoning in sick is in accord...

The time has come for people to understand the true economics of sick days.

You'll find lots of other good work-related stuff at Anxiety Culture, which is...

...a web magazine with a wealth of ideas and gimmicks for navigating the crazy, paranoid, work-obsessed, media-crapulent times we live in.

(Thanks Annette)

Posted on 14 May, 2004

Catholic News

New item: Bishop slams Catholic voting.

Catholics who vote for politicians in favour of abortion rights, stem-cell research, euthanasia or gay marriage may not receive Communion until they recant and repent in the confessional, the Roman Catholic Bishop of Colorado Springs said.

How will they know? I think everyone should sign a legal agreement prior to receiving communion.

Posted on 14 May, 2004

We're Back

This site was down for the past two hours. Sorry about that. I have no idea what was wrong -- my hosting company prefers to ignore all of my emails, and is not reachable by phone.

Posted on 14 May, 2004

Mother Goose Rocks

Nursery Rhymes performed by famous rock star imitators: Mother Goose Rocks.

The "Pat-A-Cake" song, sung by Diamond (not Jewel), is pretty good. And so is the video of "Wheels on the Bus" by Mad Donna. (The videos are listed under Cartoons).

Posted on 14 May, 2004

My Free Tarot Card Reading

I got a free Tarot Card reading. The question I asked was, What should we have for dinner tonight?

  • In the Situation position, I got the Seven of Cups: When the Seven of Cups is in this position, you may be entering a climate of affirmation and opportunity, perhaps in direct contrast to what has gone before.
  • In the Self position, I got the Six of Swords: When the Six of Swords is in this position, you are proving that you possess the skills to navigate challenging waters. You have equipped yourself with the tools and sensitivity to feel your way through obscure circumstances.
  • In the Challenges/Opportunities position, I got the The Chariot: The Chariot in this position challenges you to be self disciplined in the face of considerable energy and abundant possibilities.

So far, it hasn't given me a clue as to what's for dinner tonight. For $3.00, I can get an interpretation of eight more cards. Screw it, I'll just throw something on the grill.

(via Weird Links)

Posted on 14 May, 2004

Understanding the RIAA's Losses

Here's an interesting article by Moses Avalon: Nielsen Rating System At Odds With RIAA's Claim Of "Lost Sales".

When speaking this month to a representative from Soundscan, the company that provides much of the data for the Billboard Top 200 Chart, I learned things that would contradict reported statements by the RIAA. Mainly that US labels have had a significant reduction in sales over the past three years. Cary Sherman, president of the RIAA, responded personally, put his rebuttals on the record and in the process exposed intriguing insight into the way the RIAA calculates "losses."

The difference is that the RIAA equates shipments with sales. CD sales are actually up, but they are shipping fewer CDs.

Posted on 14 May, 2004

Jesus Fish Alternatives

Fish plaques to put on your car bumper. They have several to choose from, including this one:

Posted on 14 May, 2004

VW Metal Art

Here's a Volkswagen Beetle unlike any other: Beetle by VRBANUS. About 2,500 hours of handwork went into this thing.

(Via Gizmodo)

Posted on 14 May, 2004

Logotypes

Free Logotypes: Made by designers for designers.

This web site provides you with an opportunity to discover the world of logos, brands and trademarks. However, besides being just a resource for "logotype fans", the site is of a specific importance for designers and design studios that are involved in the logotype creation themselves. Post the logo of your own design in this website and by doing so make others to acknowledge and to respect your work and particularly to preserve your original logo design when trying to apply it later.

It has hundreds of corporate logotypes available for download in EPS format.

Posted on 14 May, 2004

Which Is The Real Toad?

If you read the comments in this blog, you can't help but notice a guy named Toad. He's a regular reader, a regular commenter, a Whole Wheat Radio listener, and a very funny guy. You may have even formed a mental image of what he looks like.

Let's see how well your mental image matches the real Toad.

Who is is the real Toad?
Photo A
Photo B
Photo C
Photo D
Photo E
None of the Above
Free polls from Pollhost.com

Posted on 14 May, 2004

Alternate History

A site called Other Timelines.

Did you ever wonder how differently things may have turned out if one particular historical event hadn't happened the way it did? What if JFK hadn't been assassinated? What if FDR had been? This web site gives you a chance to see speculation about what might have happened. Or if you have your own ideas this web site gives you a chance to share them.

The site calendar has an alternate timeline for every day of the year. Most are based on actual historical events from our own timeline, some are completely made up. Some are major events, some barely qualify as minor.

(via monochrom)

Posted on 14 May, 2004

Human Pyramids

This guy just loves human pyramids.

Whenever there is a photo to be taken, my friends know well that I always will want to make a human pyramid. Sometimes they acquiesce to my wishes, and for posterity I have scanned a few pictures in. Take a look! If you have a human pyramid picture scanned in, email it to me, and I'll put it on the page.

Posted on 14 May, 2004

Unsafe Mastering Levels

Here's a site that calls itself The Central Source for the Fight Against the Destructive Practice of Unsafe Mastering Levels.

The "Victims" section focuses on...

Effects of the loudness war on the music industry, including lists detailing the loudness of CDs I've been able to get my hands on over the years, as well as some examples of both CDs ruined by loudness race practices and CDs that showcase more proper mastering and leveling practices and high sound quality only possible with proper headroom.

Posted on 14 May, 2004

Baby Names

The Social Security Administration has updated their baby name site to include 2003 data.

For babies born in 2003, the top male names are: Jacob, Michael, Joshua, Matthew and Andrew.

The top female names are Emily, Emma, Madison, Hannah, and Olivia.

John ranks #17, unchanged from 2002, but continuing to slip downward in popularity.

Posted on 14 May, 2004

Chess Boxing

The World Chess Boxing Organization:

The task of the WCBO is to train people in the no.1 thinking sport and the no.1 fighting sport and the combination of both. In the future new training methods will be developed in cooperation with experts from both sportworlds, sportscientists and neurologists.

One of the goals of this new sport is the old ideal of a healthy mind in a healthy body: mens sana in corpore sano. During a chessboxing fight the control of aggression plays a big role. That's why the motto of WCBO is: 'Fighting is done in the ring and wars are waged on the board'.

Posted on 14 May, 2004

The Way Of The Master

The Way of the Master site starts out by asking each visitor a question:

Are you a Christian?

I checked out the Way of the Master store, and found a packet of one hundred $1 million bills for only $5.00.

These are great to give out with tips at a restaurant, or to people standing around anywhere... just hand them one as you say, "Here you go, you're doing a great job!" It makes people laugh when they get a look at what you handed them, and has a gospel message on the back.

Posted on 14 May, 2004

Google Stuff

From The Register: Google decides banner ads, skyscrapers are not evil.

The company that helped discredit lurid web advertising has vowed to bring it back to life. In addition to offering advertisers text classifieds on websites that sign up to its Adsense program, Google will begin offer advertisers graphic ads for the first time. The four formats offered include banner and skyscraper: although they may not be quite what you expect. Google's "banners" are 728 by 90 pixels;

I've always thought Google was a search engine. But I think The Register nailed it.

Google is essentially an advertising broker, and it's engaged in an intense battle with Yahoo!'s Overture service. This sensible commercial move would hardly merit any attention if it wasn't for Google's history of fast, clean and largely graphic-free design, and its avowed purpose to "Do No Evil".

You can't blame Google for wanting to make money, but I think the company is now on the path to becoming just like every other big corporation.

* * *

I've been following the new Google Blog. It has lots of potential, but after four days, it has emerged as one of the most boring blogs on the Web.

* * *

Did you see Google's SEC filing?

Proposed Maximum Aggregate Offering Price $ 2,718,281,828.

How did they come up with that number? A simple Excel formula:

=EXP(1)*1000000000

(Thanks Kirk Fleming)

Posted on 14 May, 2004

Which Nigerian Spammer Are You?

Here's another one of those tests: Which Nigerian Spammer Are You?

I am:

Posted on 14 May, 2004