J-Walk Blog: January 15, 2004 Archives

15 January, 2004

Billionaires For Bush

Now this is very nicely done: Billionaires For Bush.

Billionaires for Bush is a grassroots political action committee that advocates for the rights and interests of people of phenomenal wealth. Paid for and maintained by Billionaires, Inc. Contributions to Billionaires Inc. or Billionaires for Bush are not tax-deductible for federal income tax purposes.

(Thanks Tim Spellman)

Posted on 15 January, 2004

The Citrus Crop

Today was citrus harvest day at La Casa Del J-Walk. When the harvesting was completed, I took a photo of the crop (see below). That's right, three oranges -- and all from just one tree, mind you! But we've had worse years. Last year, for example, the entire crop consisted of only two oranges -- and one of them was rotten.

If any of you junior readers are contemplating a career in citrus farming, here are a few tips:

Don't plant your citrus trees in the shade (they need sun).
Citrus trees also need water. You can't rely on the rain.
Citrus trees can also benefit from some fertilizer.
Some type of pest management program might also be a good idea.

If I actually used these tips, I could probably double the production next year.

Posted on 15 January, 2004

Warp Records Understands

From The Register: DRM: who needs it? UK label stands up for its customers.

Pioneer British electronic label Warp Records has struck a blow for computers users by making its entire back catalog available for download - unencumbered by the toxic DRM restrictions that the pigopolists insist on.

The Sheffield label carries quite some commercial clout, as it's home to international draws such as The Aphex Twin, LFO, Boards of Canada, and the band currently topping US college station charts, Broadcast.

Posted on 15 January, 2004

Postcards For Mom

This looks like a lot of fun: Postcards For Mom.

Basically, the idea is simple. Send something to my mom. I started with postcards back in November of 2003. I started posting requests on CraigsList sites around the country. People responded and started sending Mom postcards.

The last week of 2003 I started requesting bottle caps. The items are useless, but simple to mail. If you can afford 23 or 37 cents a month, you can help me.

I'm going to change the item each month. If you don't have the named item, you can always send a postcard. Postcards will always work.

But here's what makes it special:

You can't mention the website. If you do, you'll ruin it for the few thousand people that are playing along and sending my Mom stuff.

He also has a blog, where you can read updates.

Posted on 15 January, 2004

Spam Poetry Contest Reminder

Just a reminder... The Spam Poetry Contest is still underway. Create a poem and you may win a ~~valuable~~ prize.

Posted on 15 January, 2004

A Non-Lethal Use For A Mousetrap

Pardon the second mousetrap-related entry in a single day, but I've never heard of these: Mousetrap Vehicles.

Doc Fizzix is your ultimate source for mousetrap powered cars, boats, and racers. Complete with kits, plans, books, designs, information, and step-by-step instructions for building the best mousetrap car, boat, racer, and/or vehicle.

Posted on 15 January, 2004

Folding Chairs Throughout History

This is more interesting than it should be: The illustrated history of the folding chair.

The chair shown here is from Egypt:

Among the most significant examples of Egyptian furniture is the folding stool, which was developed 2000-1500 BC. as a portable chair for the commanding officer in the army. The folding chair was the symbol of the worthy divinity (see Tutankhamun's throne, the foldable seat with a back support).

Note to site designers: Check your keyboard. You'll find a Shift key. Use it

(via Reenhead)

Posted on 15 January, 2004

Excel 2003 Bug Fix

The first Excel 2003 Bug Fix -- I mean Hot Fix -- is available from Microsoft. It fixes 14 problems, including the RAND function bug.

Posted on 15 January, 2004

The Energy Machine

Quack? Genius? Or just a very bad Web site designer? You make the call: The Energy Machine of Joseph Newman.

See the NEWMAN ENERGY MACHINE that will turn salt water to fresh water, power homes, factories, ships, trains, planes, vehicles, and cities, provide all the world's power supplies and eliminate pollution, and re-charge its own power system at the same time!

Yeah, but does it make julienne fries?

Posted on 15 January, 2004

Writing Computer Books

This blog entry is by request. Yesterday, Zaine posted this comment:

John, you've never told us about writing. Do you find it energizing, tedious, boring, exciting? Do you spend too much time dealing with publishers, copy editors, or other assorted fools? Readers want to know!

OK, here goes...

For the past decade or so, I've earned the bulk of my income from writing books. Most of them have been books about Microsoft Excel.

I became a computer book author purely by accident. While in graduate school at the University of Montana, I enjoyed writing and publishing technical articles for psychology journals. During that time, I also became interested in computers. One day, just for the hell of it, I sent a query letter to PC Magazine regarding an idea for an article. As luck would have it, they had a cancellation and needed a substitute article quickly. One thing led to another, and I soon found that I had a semi-lucrative side job writing software reviews for a number of computer magazines. I eventually became a top reviewer for InfoWorld, and one of the editors (Michael McCarthy) took a new job with IDG Books, then an upstart publishing company. He asked me if I'd be interested in writing a book to cover the upcoming Lotus 1-2-3 for Windows spreadsheet. I'd never considered such a thing, but I agreed to the project simply to see if I could actually pull it off.

I did pull it off. PC World 1-2-3 For Windows Complete Handbook was published in 1991. All modesty aside, it was a great book -- but the subject matter was a perfectly awful piece of software. Sales were dismal, but I discovered that I liked writing books, and that I was actually pretty good at.

Since then, I've written 39 other books, and they fall into two categories: New books, and revisions of old books. On a 1-10 scale, writing a new book is a perfect "10." It's gratifying to start with a clean slate and a rough outline, and then do what it takes to turn it into a real live book sitting on a shelf at Borders (or a warehouse at Amazon).

Revising an old book, on the other hand, usually rates about a "2" on that scale. Unfortunately, most of my writing lately has involved revising old books. And what makes it worse is that Excel really hasn't changed much. Therefore, I find myself simply re-hashing old material and trying to come up with something new so they can put a new version number on the book cover.

My favorite book to write was Excel Charts. Nothing like it had ever been done before, and I felt like I was actually contributing something important to the book-buying public. I've also done a number of "For Dummies" books, and they were fun because I was able to inject as much humor as I wanted.

I've been fortunate enough to work with a single publisher for the past 13 years. They started out as IDG Books, and then they were called Hungry Minds for a while, and now they are Wiley & Company. Although not perfect by any means, they are a great group of people to work with. Dealing with editors has never been a major problem. I do recall one incident in which a copy editor changed every instance of my passive voice text into active voice -- even if it meant making the text sound like it was written by a poorly-programmed robot. I objected, and the editor's changes were deleted.

Can a person really make a living by writing computer books? Yes they can, under two circumstances. (1) You write a lot of them, or (2) you write a huge-selling book like Windows For Dummies. Fact is, most computer book authors do it for the publicity, not the money.

All in all, I have no complaints about how things have worked out for me. I'm pretty sure that I'm the best-selling Excel book author on the planet, and my books have sold well over 1.5 million copies, and they have been translated into many different languages. It's always nice to get feedback from readers who tell me how much they like my books and writing style.

But here's the best part: I get to work out of my house, make my own schedule, avoid the corporate BS, and I don't have to deal much with other people -- which is exactly how I like it.

Posted on 15 January, 2004

Sky Shots

Here's a site called Enchanted Ceiling. It has 563 photos of the sky.

EnchantedCeiling is a menagerie of skies collected by you and your internet neighbors. You are invited to peruse the gallery, search the archives, or contribute your own photos.

Posted on 15 January, 2004

Leaders With Halos

Is this some type of subtle brainwashing? I'm talking about photos of world leaders with halos.

These are just a few of the many photographs mainstream media has been deliberately releasing to the public showing our world leaders with halos. I'd say with the shape our world is in right now, they should have horns instead of halos. Most of these pictures are coming from Associated Press and Reuters.

Posted on 15 January, 2004

The Mouseboard

Here's how The Mouseboard came to exist:

I was eating lunch at my desk today and thought I'd go visit the Onion after a hard day reading blogs. Unfortunately, it isn't in my favourites list. Even more unfortunately, my keyboard was covered with the dismantled packaging of a 6-inch Subway, and my left hand otherwise occupied with its consumption. So, armed with just my right hand and a mouse, I was determined to browse there.

...To avoid this tragedy in the future I just had to make a web page with a fully functional in-built keyboard, special function buttons, a browse-to feature, and Googlability.

Posted on 15 January, 2004

New From Reemco

I haven't seen the Reemco site in quite a while.

For over one hundred and fifty years, Reemco has provided mankind with cutting edge, state of the art quality and technology. We have a long standing commitment to provide you with the highest quality products at the lowest price. Our easy to use online catalog is equipped to serve all of your needs in the comfort of your own home. No special club memberships or stipulations. All you need is a problem we can solve.

It's a fake product site, and they have lots of new fake products. Like these electric toenail clippers.

Posted on 15 January, 2004

Bill Gates' Speeches

John C. Dvorak talks about Bill Gates: The Bill Gates Show.

Take Bill Gates (please!) I've complained about this before. Fifteen or twenty years ago, Gates, who is not a great speaker, gave speeches that were visionary and interesting. His talks said things you'd never heard before and had a big-picture quality to them. Now a Gates keynote is an hour-long infomercial. And he's not the only one guilty of this. Most CEOs today give speeches that are pure self- and corporate promotion. All that is missing from some of these so-called keynotes is an Australian guy screaming at the top of his lungs while polishing a car with Miracle Wax. I'm always waiting for the 800 number.

I've heard Bill Gates speak twice. It's not quite as bad as an Infomercial (but close).

Posted on 15 January, 2004

Sound Effects

A large collection of free sound effects. Or, you can buy 890 of them on a CD. The site also has lots of other sounds for sale.

Posted on 15 January, 2004

Mouse And Rat Traps

Any antique mouse and rat trap collectors out there? If so, you'll just love Rick Cicciarelli's trap gallery.

This page contains photos of antique mouse and rat traps. Some of these traps are very rare and others are much more common but perhaps have the original box with them. So there is a mix of traps pictured on this page. Have fun and enjoy looking.

Shown here is a Fairy Mouse Trap (date unknown)

Posted on 15 January, 2004

Tom McMahon's Site Redesign

Take a look at Tom McMahon's blog redesign. Nice and clean, and very readable (unlike many blogs). And Tom always has some interesting stuff to share (unlike many blogs).

He even took the time to categorize all of his previous blog entries -- something that I certainly haven't done.

Who is Tom McMahon?

At various times, Tom McMahon has been a magazine editor, a webmaster, a manager of a publications department, a user interface designer, a technical writer, a help desk expert, a technical instructor, a Six Sigma Black Belt, a manufacturing technician, a political campaign manager, a concert publicist for Harry Chapin, a political advance man for Walter Mondale, a nuclear reactor operator, an electronics technician, a janitor, a busboy, and a paid subject for a Mayo Clinic medical experiment.

Posted on 15 January, 2004

Ralph Don't Run

Why Ralph Nader should not run for president in 2004: Ralph Don't Run.

The simple fact is, if Nader had not run, Gore would be president. Not Bush.

(via Off On A Tangent)

Posted on 15 January, 2004

Foil Follow-Up

Last week I linked to a story about a practical joke that involved wrapping every item in a house with aluminum foil.

Here's a follow-up, with lots of photos.

Posted on 15 January, 2004

Hummer Shoes

From Ad Age: Hummer shoes gear up for new vehicle models.

Consumers who love their Hummers, or covet someone else's, can now put their feet in a pair of Hummer-branded shoes.

I just love this quote:

"This is a lifestyle brand," said Jordan Saliman, president of Hummer Footwear, a division of EJ Footwear. "We want to participate in consumers lives from the time they get up to the time they go to bed."

You can see some of them here. To me, they are every bit as attractive as an actual Hummer vehicle.

(via The Future of Real Estate)

Posted on 15 January, 2004