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1 July, 2003

Hormel Sues Software Company

From the Seattle Times: Hormel can't stomach Seattle tech company that blocks out spam.

For years, Hormel Foods has watched as the name of its famous and popular product also has come to mean junk e-mail, a source of heartburn and anger for computer users everywhere.

Unable to stuff this problem back into the can, Hormel is instead doing what companies often do: asserting its trademark rights. Claiming dilution of the trademarked name Spam, the company has filed complaints against Spam Arrest, a Seattle technology company that provides spam-blocking software for e-mail users.

(via The Trademark Blog)

Posted on 1 July, 2003

Odd Search Requests

As is beginning to be my custom, I present some of the more amusing search requests from last month. These are search strings that people typed into a Web search engine -- and they ended up at the J-Walk Blog. This is just a small sampling.

i need ideas for short african american hairstyles * what happens when your tripping on acid * photos of the musical instruments of the ROMANS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! * famous left handed flute player * Martha Stewart's nude pictures * forced to walk nude on campus * photoshopped leave it to beaver * wizard of oz metallic poisoning * giantess panties * photos of pop out of belly button in pregnant women at week 20 * most weasliest company * monica lewinsky bobblehead * lipton ice tea complaint * overweight pug porn * military dog tags that allow 22 characters * talkeetna duct tape ball * advantages of having a Fire Hydrant in front yard * hamster suit * PEANUTS Look-Alikes real winners * email addresses 2003 of gum manufacturing companies swezerland * nude models competition in a excel spreadsheet * sexy bunion photos * britney spears sawed in half * name called john and jack e-mail contacts in america 2003 florida * xp background of jetsons naked * rectal surgical jokes and cartoons * sample eulogy for cadavers * "Britney spears" and "close set eyes" * pretending to be foreign * download Harry Potter scanned illegal full free fast easy no charge

And my favorite:

Did Shania Twain always have pretty teeth, or are they caps?

Posted on 1 July, 2003

Celebrities Eating

Celebrities, like most people, eat food.

Here's a collection of photos that depict celebrities eating. I guess they use the term celebrity loosely. They include a photo of Hillary Clinton eating what appears to be a large sandwich (a McRib sandwich?).


Posted on 1 July, 2003

Update on The Constitution

News Flash! According to Westboro Baptist Church:

The Constitution of the United States is now A Covenant with Death and An Agreement with Hell!

Click here for details (PDF file).

Posted on 1 July, 2003

The Story of Bread

Miss Sunbeam presents The Story of Bread.

As our story begins, Miss Sunbeam is pushing a slice on her pig-nosed brother Tommy, who balks at the idea; bread, it seems, lacks a backstory.

In the next panel, Tommy has temporarily developed a beer gut and the features of the village simpleton; his sister upbraids him for insufficient appreciation of bread and all it entails. Tommy still balks.

Posted on 1 July, 2003

Hat Tricks

A site devoted to the dying art of hat tricks.

We aim to be the most comprehensive Hat Juggling and Hat Manipulation website on the Internet... We've now got over 40 hat tricks available on the site for you to view and we're trying to add new ones when we can!

The first step is to choose a hat. It seems that the preferred hat for tricks is either a derby or a top hat. Drat! The only hats I have are baseball caps.

And speaking of hats, check out the Real He-Man Hats site. Some of these seem to be quite suitable for performing hat tricks.

Posted on 1 July, 2003

Astronomy Picture of the Day

The Astronomy Picture of the Day for 30 June seems to show a giant hand flipping the bird.

Posted on 1 July, 2003

Coming Soon: Super Weapons

From The Guardian Unlimited: US-based missiles to have global reach

The Pentagon is planning a new generation of weapons, including huge hypersonic drones and bombs dropped from space, that will allow the US to strike its enemies at lightning speed from its own territory.

The new technology would free the US from dependence on forward bases and the cooperation of regional allies, part of the drive towards self-sufficiency spurred by the difficulties of gaining international cooperation for the invasion of Iraq.

We don't need no stinkin' foreign cooperation to fight wars!

The good news is that it will take 25 years for this to happen.

Posted on 1 July, 2003

Human Spell Check

The Human Spell Check site has a screenshot collection that shows typos from various news sites.

It's ironic that I point this out. The J-Walk Blog has has at least too typos every day.

Posted on 1 July, 2003

Two New Entries at Snopes

Snopes, as you may know, collects urban legends and attempts to determine if they are true or false. Two new entries caught my attention (caution, the photos are rather graphic):

But the best part is is fake photo (click the second link above to see the full-size image):

In this case the subject has posed with his hand in a fist, pressed against his left cheek (the index finger is curled under his palm rather than extended into the nostril); the resulting picture was then manipulated to add the effect of a fingertip sticking out of the right eye socket.

Posted on 1 July, 2003

Read A Scientology Book

For a good laugh, take a look at this old 34-page Scientology book. It's about becoming a Volunteer Minister.

The best part is the photos. Every page has at least one photograph, and they are bad. I mean incredibly bad. Bad models, bad costumes, bad sets, and bad props.

Here's one from page 30:

As you can see, becoming a Volunteer Minister has its rewards. You will be toasted at Chamber of Commerce meetings by a guy in a bow tie.

The photo shown here is cropped. Click here to see the entire photo so you can see the food on the table.

There's a great photo of nuns on page 32. And page 33 shows a typical scene at a bus stop. Turn to page 39 to see some dirty drugged-out hippies being helped by a Volunteer Minister. Their advice?

What you can tell those on drugs will interest them -- that through proper vitamins and learning Scientology training drills to bring up their confront and communication level, they are able to come off drugs without having harsh withdrawal symptoms or suffering inhumane treatment.

Apparently, you can still become a Volunteer Minister.

Posted on 1 July, 2003

Time Cube Central

Is Gene Ray a lunatic or a genius? Visit Time Cube Central and make a decision.

"Time Cube empowers wisdom above all gods and educators. I am the wisest human of all, for I have absolute proof of 4 simultaneous 24 hour days in a single rotation of the Earth" -Gene Ray

So what is a time cube? Unfortunately, Gene Ray's site doesn't come right out and tell you. Maybe you can figure it out if you listen to the dozens of MP3 files available there. Or, if you like to view a horrid web site, try timecube.com.

So I went to Insolitology, where they had this to say:

What, exactly, is the Time Cube ? Well... we think not even Gene knows. Basically, his theory starts from the nebulous premise that the Earth is a cube : not in a literal sense, but in some metaphorical sense. Envision a cube inscribed inside the Earth. Each face represents either sundown, sunup, midday or midnight. Furthermore, each face also represents a race : asian, indian, white and black race (for some reason, Jesus, Einstein, Socrates and Clinton are also involved). Because of these four corners - Gene thinks faces are corners - every day has 96 hours. Also, all clock faces are wrong, although for some reason Gene here contradicts himself and gives us a 16-hours clock instead of 96.

My vote goes to "lunatic."

Posted on 1 July, 2003

Business Card Cartoons

Hugh Macleod draws cartoons on the back of business cards. Here's an example of his work:

This original art work can be yours for US $99 (or $199 if you want it in a frame).

Posted on 1 July, 2003

Space Age Pop Music

Space Age Pop Music is a weird music genre from the '50's that's actually very listenable (if you're in the proper mood). The Space Age Pop Music Page is a good introduction.

The following pages provide recommendations on representative recordings in some of the primary categories of this un-categorizable genre, as well as a candidate list of the ten albums that have come to epitomize space age pop and exotica.

Thanks to a recent burst of releases and reissues, some of these albums are in print in CD form. But most are rewards that await you at the end of hours of thumbing through Night Ranger and Barbra Streisand albums in thrift stores and flea markets.

Posted on 1 July, 2003

Hyper History

When I was a kid, History was not one of my favorite subjects. But then again, cool web sites like Hyper History didn't exist back then. This site lets you view historical events and people on a handy timeline where everything is hyperlinked together

Over 2,000 files covering 3,000 years of world history.

The design and layout of this site is very impressive -- they didn't even need to resort to using Flash. Imagine that!

(via Ulterior Thoughts)

Posted on 1 July, 2003