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7 November, 2002

A Story About Piracy

Over the past few years, the terms "pirate" and "piracy" have become associated with software theft. I'm not sure when or how this usage started, but these are now the most common ways to describe illegal software. The usage is so prevalent, that when I see a news item about real pirates, the term almost seems out of place.

In a span of two days armed pirates have attacked three ships off Indonesian islands near Bintan, taking crew members hostage and leaving two injured, one seriously.

There's even a web site that publishes a Weekly Piracy Report -- and it has nothing to do with software.

Posted on 7 November, 2002

Say Cheese

Boing Boing pointed out a link to an amazing series of family photos at zonezero.com.

For the past 26 years, each member of an Argentinean family is photographed on June 17. You can see Diego and Susy Goldberg (along with their three children) age before your very eyes.

I snagged a few of the 100+ images. The photos at the top were taken in 1976. The bottom photos were taken this year. Each photo in the series is the same size, and each has a similar (neutral) facial expression.

Now why didn't I think of that?

Posted on 7 November, 2002

120 Days to Go...

...until the Global Public Announcement.

I guess registering 1apr2003.com would have been too obvious.

• Update (11-November-2002)
  It seems that I posted this link on the day it was removed. See: Snopes

Posted on 7 November, 2002

Is Microsoft Excel Ready For Retirement?

My name is John, and I'm an Excel junkie.

I've been using Excel since the late '80's, and I've pretty much earned my living from this product for the past 8-9 years. So here's a radical thought: Most users don't realize it, but the world really needs a new spreadsheet program. It's time to retire Excel and replace it with an improved product.

Excel is a very old program. Microsoft tacks on new bells and whistles with every new upgrade, but the basic "spreadsheet" functionality has hardly changed at all. Long-time problems are rarely fixed, and the user interface gets increasingly bewildering with each upgrade. Click here for a frightening example of Excel's confusing interface.

In a sense, this consistency over time is good thing -- Excel files that were created in 1990 can still be opened with the current version, and spreadsheet users have grown accustomed to Excel's many quirks and inconsistencies.

But the fact is, Microsoft is capable of creating a much better spreadsheet product, a product that's designed from scratch to meet today's needs. A spreadsheet that actually include features that people have been requesting for years. A spreadsheet that is designed so well that users will actually take advantage of its advanced features. As long as this new product were able to import data and formulas, I would be perfectly willing to sacrifice all other aspects of compatibility with the current Excel.

But, in spite of its problems, Excel is very much alive. What causes software die? That's easy: People stop using it when a better product comes along. Lotus 1-2-3 is a perfect example. Although 1-2-3 is not quite dead, it's having a difficult time breathing, and I've heard that it has problems remembering things. When Microsoft Windows started to become popular, Lotus missed the boat. It took them several years to release a Windows version of 1-2-3, and (by any measure) it was a piece of crap. Consequently, Excel surged ahead and became the new spreadsheet standard.

Given Excel's market dominance (probably ~92% market share) and Microsoft's monopoly position, the odds that another company will develop a successful new spreadsheet product is exactly 0%. In other words, Excel is no longer subject to the natural "survival of the fittest" law for software. It has no real competitors, and it never will -- at least in foreseeable future. So if a better spreadsheet product does come along, it must come from Microsoft.

But Microsoft continues to take the easy path, and simply applies duct tape and cosmetic face lifts to an aging product. Maybe the folks in Redmond are actually working on a completely new Office suite that will replace the current version (but it won't be Office 11). But then again, there is really no economic or completive incentive to do so. Kind of sad, eh?

Microsoft's Jeff Raikes is on record regarding the future of Microsoft Office. The ultimate goal, he says, is to double the revenues from Office up to $20 billion per year. His interview is laced with the typical buzzwords, but nothing he says convinces me that he's actually in touch with the typical user of Excel or any of the other Office apps.

...there are many challenges today, involving connecting people, software and services. There are many disconnected islands of data, problems with becoming connected to business processes and inefficient collaboration, said Raikes. Over the next decade, Microsoft will use three pillars to drive its information productivity business forward: It will serve a broader customer audience, create new customer value through innovation and help customers realize business value, Raikes said

Yeah, right. In the meantime, Excel users spend their time trying to figure out how to use a range of text for data labels in a chart (hint: you can't), and wondering why simply opening a workbook crashes the software.

But, there is a silver lining to the stagnating Office suite. It's very likely that I'll be able to help my yet-to-be-born grandchildren with their Excel projects.

Posted on 7 November, 2002

New at Amazon

I see that amazon.com is now selling clothes. As far as I can tell, the only thing they don't yet sell is groceries and illegal drugs.

Amazon has also set up a WebServices system. This allows developers to create web-based apps that utilize Amazon's XML API. In other words, it's now possible to access Amazon's database, and present the information any way you choose. For an example, check out Amazon Light.

Posted on 7 November, 2002

Fan Mail (!)

Well, let's open up the old J-Walk mail bag and see what we have. Ah, here's something. Tucked between an offer to increase the size of manhood, and a very generous proposition from a fellow in Nigeria, I see a message from a Senior Database Administrator for a well-know casino. She writes:

I'm basically a database person who wound up getting involved in VBA & Office Automation over the last few years. I've bought more than 50 books on programming and the various Office apps. I think your books are far and away the best that I've read. I own Excel 2000 Power Programming and Excel 200 Formulas. I love being able to fully utilize Excel's power and recommend Excel 2000 Formulas to every person who asks me about spreadsheets. 

Your writing is so clear and user-friendly and you go many steps beyond just rehashing the help files (which is all so many books seem to do).  Anyway, I just wanted to say "Thanks" for such a superior product. Your effort is appreciated.

Man, I love to get email like that. Most of the email that I get in response to my books starts out with... Great book. Now here are my questions for you.

Posted on 7 November, 2002

Comic Book Stuff

An interesting collection of comic book covers, annotated and grouped into various categories.  For a concise summary of how U.S. society has changed over the years, check out The Comic Book Code of Ethics. Excellent scans of every page of Action Comics No. 1. A site devoted to the Comic Book Guy, one of my favorite Simpsons characters.

Posted on 7 November, 2002