J-Walk Holiday Gift Guide: Part 1

It's the season of giving, and that means you'll need gifts. Here's the first installment of my annual gift guide. I have personally bought and tested each of these products, so you can be assured that your gifts are quality gifts.

Buick Key Ring - $1.29

You probably know someone who owns a Buick, and has lost their key ring. We all do. Here's a chance to be a hero and buy that person a new Buick key ring. The keychain has a metal ring and a Buick name in grey on a contrasting background. The name part of the keychain is rigid and sturdy (made of heavy plastic or vinyl), and will not bend. You may select either red, blue or black as a background color.

Chair Nail - $0.56

Manufactured by U.S. Futaba. A perfect gift for someone who is missing a 5/8-inch white chair nail and needs a replacement. Hammer not included.

Finger Nose Hair Trimmer  $9.97

A fully functional nose hair trimmer, this finger shaped novelty makes noise hair trimming quick and amusing. You could pick your nose hair trimmer from anywhere, but those other brands are just snot funny. It's made by Jumpin Banana, so you know it's a good product.

I/19B3 Nuclear States from Charged Particle Reactions (Hardcover) -$8,559

Got a reader on your list? Volume I/19B (consisting of 3 subvolumes covering different ranges of Z) contains the compilation of parameters of nuclear bound states excited in reactions with charged particles. High-quality information on excited bound states situated above the low-lying levels but below the states seen as resonances is essential for the understanding of general properties of nuclei and is important for many applications. Sure, you pay full list price for this book, but it's well worth it.

Jesus Christ Statue - $29,000

If you know someone who runs a church, they will appreciate this statue. It's our Savior, the Almighty, the King of Kings, the Lord of Lords, the Lamb Without a Blemish, Mary's Boy, the Only Begotten Son, The Rock, the King of the Jews, the Horn of Salvation, etc., etc. And he's in a classic pose. Life size cast marble sculpture. Each line, curve, and detail has been painstakingly produced.

USA Flag Design Purse Hanger - $8.99

Many women have a problem: No place to hang their purse. Problem solved! Our collection of intricately designed and lightweight purse hangers act as an essential accessory for purses, handbags, etc for keeping them off the floor and in your sight at restaurants and other places. They are strongly built to hold up to 15 pounds.

Citric Acid - $1.00

If you're going to one of those parties that requires a gift of $1.00 or less, this will demonstrate to the other party-goers that you're not a cheapskate. This is good quality citric acid. I've found that a four ounce bag of citric acid will get most people through the year -- unless they are heavy consumer of citric acid. In such a case, they might need more around August or September. But that's their problem, not yours.

Burnt Orange silk swatch - $0.76

Got a silk swatch collector on your list? You won't do better than this. Handmade, 100% silk. Shipping weight: 8 ounces. Click the link to see other views of this product.

Grease Soundtrack 8-Track Tape - $12.99

Everyone loves the music from Grease, and it's never sounded better. This 8-Track was released as a Double Play (meaning twice the normal music) with 24 Tracks. It features the music of Franki Valli, Stockard Channing, Cindy Bullens, Frankie Avalon, Sha Na Na, John Travolta, Olivia Newton-John and more.

Designer Wedding Gown - $888

I think just about every woman would like a dress like this. Even if they are already married. You can wear it to royal events, or just around the house. Description: 1) Fabric: satin, silk satin, chiffon, tulle, organza 2) Size: Bust, Waist and Hip measurement are needed 3) Color: white, ivory or optional 4) Embellishment: lace, embroidery, beading 5) Beads: crystal, glass beads, bugle beads, seed beads.

Fake Teeth Pack of 9 - $5.99

You won't find a better price on a 9-pack of fake teeth anywhere. You have my guarantee. For many people, this is a lifetime supply. From the manufacturer: After testing several sets of fake teeth, we couldn't decide on just one style, so we're presenting you with all the choices that fake-teeth technology can offer.

Disposable Shoe Covers - $10.14

It's a pack of 100 shoe covers (also known as 50 pairs). If you know someone who likes to keep their shoes shiny and clean, this is the perfect gift. Assuming this person uses one pair of shoe covers per day, it will last 50 days. But if this person chooses not to cover his shoes on weekends, then it will last 10 weeks! Note: If that guy has big feet, forget it. These shoe covers only fit shoes up to size 10.

Machine Screw - $0.04

The perfect gift for someone you don't like. You won't find a cheaper gift anywhere. We're talking four cents. If you need a gift for 25 people that you dislike, buy each of them a machine screw and you're only out a buck. By the way, this machine screw got a very good review. Technical details: 10-24 x 3/4" Round Head.

Jesus' Drivers License - $0.51

I'm pretty sure this is a replica, and not his actual license. Be that as it may, it's a quality item and makes a great witnessing tool. And, of course, it fits in your wallet. A perfect gift for someone who has a tendency to get pulled over by the cops. Hand this to the officer and he'll probably let you off. Even more effective for people who actually live in Holy Land.