Happy Canada Day

Today is the day we Americans celebrate our 37th state, Canada.

It is the largest and most northern (or most south west eastern southerniest state as most natives think) state of the "United" States of America, also known as America's Frosted Hat, Soviet Canuckistan, Canuckland, Canadia, British America or The Shizzle North of Hizzle, but more commonly known as "The Great White North", is situated somewhere near the inconsequential continental U.S.A., and slightly south of the North Pole.

 The United Nations has managed to narrow it down further to not only north of the U.S. but also up, eh? Canada is the USA's largest national park, and tourist attraction.

And it's official.

NOW, THEREFORE, I, BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA, President of the United States of America, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Constitution and laws of the United States, do hereby proclaim July 1, 2009, as Canada Day. I call upon all Americans to recognize this day with appropriate ceremonies and to underscore our commitment to poutine and hockey.