Amazon Reviews

Eleven pages of Amazon product reviews written by prolific Smith T. Aames.

This is his review of a $150 14K Yellow Gold Face of Christ Silhouette Pendant.

I like my 14K Yellow Gold Face of Christ Silhouette Pendant for two main reasons:

1. I have the most awesome Christ-shaped sunburn on my chest. It's absolutely the coolest thing ever. I recommend oiling your chest and then wearing this pendant to the beach. Be careful not to spend too long in the sun, though, or the metal will burn a Christ-shaped scar onto your skin.

2. There is nothing that juxtaposes questionable taste and religious piety better than a jewelry silhouette of Christ. I wear this pendant when I go places where I would prefer people not talk to me, like Home Depot. I find that the workers in Home Depot are overly concerned with my life, asking me questions about why I am buying 300 yards of chain, and why do I need seventy four rolls of duct tape. As if it weren't obvious that I'm on the bondage scene. Anyway, I find that when I wear my Christ pendant, people tend to leave me alone. I think they either assume I am very pious and therefore not using the mini-blow torches for evil purposes, or they fear having to look any longer at the Christ-head on my magnificent chest.

(via Waxy.org)