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Sunday, 29 November, 2009

Tiger Talks
(with comments)

Well, he doesn't talk. He writes: Statement from Tiger Woods.

As you all know, I had a single-car accident earlier this week, and sustained some injuries. I have some cuts, bruising and right now I'm pretty sore.

This situation is my fault, and it's obviously embarrassing to my family and me. I'm human and I'm not perfect. I will certainly make sure this doesn't happen again.

This is a private matter and I want to keep it that way. Although I understand there is curiosity, the many false, unfounded and malicious rumors that are currently circulating about my family and me are irresponsible.

Blah, blah, blah.

I heard his wife beat him up with a 9-iron because he caught him with another woman. Then he chased him out of the house. He got in the car, and was going to visit OJ Simpson. Then he remembered that he's in jail.  He was so drunk that he stepped on the gas pedal instead of the brake pedal.


Permalink | Posted in Sports |
  1. By wally the duck. Comment posted 29-Nov-2009 @05:06pm:
    Why should he talk? It's his private life.
  2. By J-Walk. Comment posted 29-Nov-2009 @05:12pm:
    It's a controversial point, duck. Some would claim that he's a celebrity and, as such, isn't really entitled to a private life. He gave that up when he decided to be in the limelight.

    Personally, I don't care one way or the other. But I also heard that he was either on his way to see his drug dealer, or was fleeing from a murder scene.
  3. By Dog. Comment posted 29-Nov-2009 @05:13pm:
    So, the next time I wreck my car and the cops come to talk to me, I can just tell them to come back later, like next week?
  4. By wally the duck. Comment posted 29-Nov-2009 @05:22pm:
    Maybe he's just got it in for fire hydrants.

    Does the name Brenna Cepelak ring a bell?
  5. By Dar. Comment posted 29-Nov-2009 @05:22pm:
    I thought you didn't post articles about publicity stunts.
  6. By Chris Weagel. Comment posted 29-Nov-2009 @05:31pm:
    I heard he got paid millions of dollars to let people watch him little balls into holes on lawns.
  7. By J-Walk. Comment posted 29-Nov-2009 @05:33pm:
    Does the name Brenna Cepelak ring a bell?


    No, but the name Quasimoto rings a bell. Is he involved in this caper?
  8. By wally the duck. Comment posted 29-Nov-2009 @05:49pm:
    I think that's the face that rings a bell, as I remember the joke.
  9. By wally the duck. Comment posted 29-Nov-2009 @05:51pm:
    Or maybe Mr. Moto's mini Me.
  10. By il vecchio. Comment posted 29-Nov-2009 @05:51pm:
    I'm with Dog. What level of power and prestige have you reached in a culture when you can tell a cop, "It's too inconvenient for me to deal with you now, but I might be able to pencil you in next Thursday at 3." without having a paradiddle played on your pate.
  11. By Namowal. Comment posted 29-Nov-2009 @06:55pm:
    Has Daddy Balloon Boy weighed in on this?
  12. By John Wilson. Comment posted 29-Nov-2009 @07:08pm:
    Backed into a fire hydrant and then forward into a tree???
    No alcohol/drugs involved?? (Somehow I wouldn't expect Tiger to do drugs but "most" everyone likes to imbibe every once in a while).
    Maybe he should get a bigger "drive" way?
    Maybe he should practice "driving" a little more?
    Bottom line is that if it was you or I we'd have spent the night in jail.
    If not Tiger, someone will go down for this.
  13. By MAPLE LEAF. Comment posted 29-Nov-2009 @07:25pm:
    That statement was carefully written by spin doctors, lawyers and other damage control staff, not Tiger Woods.

    He makes millions from his status as a public figure, but now wants things to be "a private matter".

    You can't have it both ways scum bag!

    Everything is being managed and massaged before he even speaks to the police and I wouldn't be surprised if they ask for his autograph rather than conducting a thorough investigation.
  14. By Don Coyote. Comment posted 29-Nov-2009 @07:31pm:
    "...someone will go down for this."

    Ha. Sounds like that's what his wife was mad about in the first place. The other woman and just who was doin' the goin' down. Unless it was someone Tiger had on his staff. So to speak.
  15. By John Wilson. Comment posted 29-Nov-2009 @07:53pm:
    Don Coyote Yeah, I heard those "other woman" rumors but what doesn't make any sense (at least to me).....
    If you're backing out of your driveway (which is probably very wide if your name is Tiger Woods) and you somehow back into a fire hydrant (maybe they moved it since the last time he backed out of his driveway?) why would you even think of putting the car (SUV) in gear and go forward to hit a tree????
    Which poses another question..........
    If I had as much money as Tiger I would think that I'd have a driveway that I would never have to "back" out of??
  16. By Shape-Shifting Reptilian Alien. Comment posted 29-Nov-2009 @07:57pm:
    Tyger has sliced this shot waaaay deep into the ruff...

    Now to make matters worse he reaches for the 1 iron

    Only God can hit a 1 iron old boy

    Bad form
  17. By Dog. Comment posted 29-Nov-2009 @08:11pm:
    How well wood(sp) you drive a car if you were just "clubbed" in the head a few times (fleeing angry wife)?
  18. By meg_mac. Comment posted 29-Nov-2009 @08:36pm:
    I'm with Wally on this one. Why should he talk to anyone? His wife hit him over the head? And?
  19. By meg_mac. Comment posted 29-Nov-2009 @08:38pm:
    My husband on the other hand has an unnatural hatred of Tiger Woods and is convinced he is Jack the Ripper and his wife found out about it. Tiger is also responsible for some other catastrophes too.
  20. By Spokane Mary. Comment posted 29-Nov-2009 @08:40pm:
    What a lot of celebrity blood-lust here - amazing!

    My guess is the guy had a big fight with his wife and took off with her chasing after him. He was mad and going too fast and with her chasing after him, he crashed into all kinds of things along the driveway - or at least, something close to all that.

    But, folks, this is NOT O.J. stuff - c'mon. Tiger Woods is the one with the injuries - not his wife! Stuff like this is unbelievable to me:
    You can't have it both ways scum bag!

    "scum bag" ???

    Yes, he postponed his talk with the police. Of course, he had head and facial injuries and had committed NO CRIME in the first place; don't you have ten days to submit an accident report in most states? TEN DAYS. Of course he had to work out what his statement to the public would be - that's reasonable, isn't it? He's a celebrity, but he's always had a respectable private life - is this a reason to trash him so quickly? For shame.
  21. By Don Coyote. Comment posted 29-Nov-2009 @08:46pm:
    If I had as much money as Tiger I would think that I'd have a driveway that I would never have to "back" out of??

    Good point. Not being rich and having a double wide gravel driveway/parking area, I back into our driveway so that I can drive straight out in the AM. My wife backs out, to the occasional peril of our neighbors. To be fair, I park out in the open. She parks in her half of the garage. If she tried backing into the garage every day, we'd be doing structural repairs on a regular basis.
  22. By Dog. Comment posted 29-Nov-2009 @08:48pm:
    meg_mac, so as I understand it, you would let your husband beat on you until you needed to be taken to the hospital, and you wouldn't see the need to talk to the authorities about it?
  23. By Doug. Comment posted 29-Nov-2009 @08:50pm:
    I heard he was rushing out at 2:30am to get a jump on Black Friday at Dick's Sporting Goods and his wife ran out with a club to make sure he got a matching set.

    Well, it's possible..
  24. By Don Coyote. Comment posted 29-Nov-2009 @08:52pm:
    Plus, she can't back out in a straight line or graceful trajectory and is always checking all three mirrors. I told her to just keep an eye on the Ponderosa pine in her left side mirror. If she cleared that, she was OK. No other geographical features will have changed in the meantime.
    That's love.
  25. By Blind Dog Jones. Comment posted 29-Nov-2009 @08:55pm:
    Why should he talk to anyone? His wife hit him over the head? And?
    And... where were the kids while this was going on? There are questions to be answered regardless of his celebrity, wealth and desire for privacy.
  26. By meg_mac. Comment posted 29-Nov-2009 @08:58pm:
    Doug... She hit him and he is defending her?? I don't care. He has a right to say nothing. I think he is trying to block her from scrutiny and embarrasment. Do you think you have some divine right to know all about the dirty details? Or the police? Was a law broken? Voyeurism is ramapant.
  27. By meg_mac. Comment posted 29-Nov-2009 @09:00pm:
    where were the kids while this was going on

    Where were the kids when what? was going on? You know nothing and are assuming everything.
  28. By 10-4. Comment posted 29-Nov-2009 @09:01pm:
    Watch Cops on TV and see how many go to jail for a lot less than what Tiger & his Wife did.
  29. By John Wilson. Comment posted 29-Nov-2009 @09:01pm:
    b]Spokane Mary had committed NO CRIME
    Back out of your own driveway...take out a fire hydrant...take out a tree...wreck your car....get taken to the hospital for your injuries....when the police question you, just tell them "I don't feel like talking about it right now".

    I'm sure they'll understand.
  30. By meg_mac. Comment posted 29-Nov-2009 @09:03pm:
    Jon... it's a gated community. They should have ticketed him if they had a problem. Did they?
  31. By Doug. Comment posted 29-Nov-2009 @09:05pm:
    meg_mac - Doug not Dog.
  32. By Blind Dog Jones. Comment posted 29-Nov-2009 @09:05pm:
    By meg_mac . Comment posted 29-Nov-2009 @09:00pm:

    where were the kids while this was going on


    Where were the kids when what? was going on? You know nothing and are assuming everything.


    I only assumed that maybe you knew something when you wrote, "His wife hit him over the head". What was going on was Daddy leaving at 2:30 AM and running into a fire hydrant and a tree. I didn't say I had the answers, only that there are questions to be answered.
  33. By meg_mac. Comment posted 29-Nov-2009 @09:10pm:
    I didn't say I had the answers, only that there are questions to be answered.

    What questions? It is none of my business or yours. I was being facetious when I said his wife hit him over the head. It happens alot.
  34. By Blind Dog Jones. Comment posted 29-Nov-2009 @09:19pm:
    What questions? It is none of my business or yours. I was being facetious when I said his wife hit him over the head. It happens alot.

    Well thank you for explaining to me what is and is not any of my business...
  35. By Spokane Mary. Comment posted 29-Nov-2009 @10:19pm:
    At 2:30 AM, the childen were, presumably, asleep; what kind of stupid question is that?

    Questions that need to be answered? Sez who? Call your local police department and find out how many times a week people get into big fights and what kind of property damage ensues - with and without any arrests being made.

    I remember one story a Tucson policeman told us years ago. They had a call one night about a naked woman walking on a steet up in the foothills in a pretty wealthy area, so one of their cruisers went to check it out and, sure enough, he found this woman - at least 80 years old and naked as a jaybird - walking down the street. The cop stopped and asked her what was going on and she told him that her husband had told her that she couldn't pick up a man if she walked around naked, so she was going to prove him wrong - she wanted this young cop to take her home. Unfortunately, he couldn't do that because he had to have two cops there before he could put her in the car.
  36. By Spokane Mary. Comment posted 29-Nov-2009 @10:26pm:
    At just about the same time the second police car arrived - with two policemen in it - another car came flying down the road and screeched to a stop. The lady's husband got out and was mortified at what was going on. She insisted, however, on riding home with the police - not her husband - so the two policemen took her home. Her husband agreed that she'd made her point - she'd picked up TWO men - and the argument was over.

    That's a cute story, but usually they're not cute at all. Every night there are people having screaming fights, throwing things, hitting each other, and yes - driving off in a huff, endangering everyone in their path. Most just get talked down by the police - or they might get a reckless driving ticket - but usually the argument resolves quickly when the police arrive - which is probably what happened here.

    Tiger Woods is a famous person who hasn't yet had any scandal ruin his good name; some people just can't stand that.
  37. By Blind Dog Jones. Comment posted 29-Nov-2009 @10:53pm:
    At 2:30 AM, the childen were, presumably, asleep; what kind of stupid question is that?

    A reasonable one.
  38. By Snag. Comment posted 29-Nov-2009 @11:10pm:
    Australian newspaper article .....
    http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/were-not-lovers/story-e6frf7jo-1225805163254

    Whatever the truth of the matter, I like and admire the guy. I hope it can all be settled quickly and the world leave him alone.
  39. By Dar. Comment posted 29-Nov-2009 @11:12pm:
    At 2:30 AM, the childen were, presumably, asleep; what kind of stupid question is that?

    Probably a non-issue since she rode with him to the hospital in the ambulance - I suspect a live-in nanny.

    Call your local police department and find out how many times a week people get into big fights and what kind of property damage ensues - with and without any arrests being made.

    A fire hydrant is not only city property, but easily costs more than $1,000 to repair/replace, and should result in a felony charge.

    That's a cute story

    Not a cute story - actually kind of gross if you really think about it.
  40. By MAPLE LEAF. Comment posted 29-Nov-2009 @11:29pm:
    Spokane Mary: He, by choice, lives a public life and reaps enormous financial and emotional/ego rewards, then when things don't go his way has hired guns circle the wagons for on his behalf then requests privacy. That is, indeed, scum bag behavior.
  41. By rusty. Comment posted 29-Nov-2009 @11:51pm:
    i understand that no law compels him to make a statement to the state police in this instance. his cooperation would be completely voluntary. i would imagine that he and his wife are trying to avoid revealing a possible domestic violence situation that might end with the children being removed from the home. they are taking some time to weigh the potential consequences for all involved.
  42. By rusty. Comment posted 29-Nov-2009 @11:53pm:
    pretty sure she whacked him with that fancy putter though.
  43. By Phil Mickelson. Comment posted 29-Nov-2009 @11:56pm:
    At 2:30 AM, the childen were, presumably, asleep;

    Until the fight broke out then they were awakened by all the noise and cussing and swearing. They were probably scared to death. Child Protective Services should investigate.

    The other woman = Sarah Palin. Trig is their love-child.

    I wish I had a dollar for every time I heard Tiger yell out "God Da...it" while watching a golf tournament on TV.
  44. By v. Comment posted 30-Nov-2009 @03:42am:
    what happened? is there a tiger in the woods?
  45. By Phillip. Comment posted 30-Nov-2009 @04:55am:
    Orly already demanding he produce a valid driver's license, the long-form version, I believe.
  46. By meg_mac. Comment posted 30-Nov-2009 @05:23am:
    A
    fire hydrant is not only city property, but easily costs more than $1,000 to repair/replace, and should result in a felony charge.

    Except it was in a wealthy gated community whose HOA fees probably cover the cost of the fire hydrant many times over. Ruining a fire hydrant is still no reason to expose your wife and family to TMZ and the tabloids. Private matter and you should get a life.
  47. By Tim. Comment posted 30-Nov-2009 @07:28am:
    Finally, I can say that I drive better than Tiger Woods....
  48. By Onecos. Comment posted 30-Nov-2009 @08:27am:
    is there a tiger in the woods? Here's one!!
    awyezp.jpg
  49. By another larry. Comment posted 30-Nov-2009 @08:39am:
    Well he's told the cops enough of the story and it seems that his sleep walking was complicated by his taking enough viagra for two women then being tripped into a moment of sleep driving where he thought the golf ball hood ornament on his car was really his play ball in the miniature golf course he was on trying to get his ball into the fire hydrant then back up the hill and into the tree.
  50. By John Wilson. Comment posted 30-Nov-2009 @09:03am:
    Tim

    Finally, I can say that I drive better than Tiger Woods....


    but he's probably better with using his "putter" on some nice holes.
  51. By Uhclem. Comment posted 30-Nov-2009 @12:03pm:
    The difference between a car and a golf ball?

    Tiger can drive a golf ball 400 yards.
  52. By David. Comment posted 30-Nov-2009 @12:41pm:
    I'm with Meg Mac on this one: not our business. I got enough worries without wondering about what Tiger is up to. I admire the guy's game but I couldn't care less who he's sleeping with or whether he had a spat with his wife. Please.
  53. By decibelcat. Comment posted 30-Nov-2009 @01:04pm:
    By Spokane Mary:

    ... and yes - driving off in a huff

    Whenever I see or hear that phrase I am reminded of a Don Martin drawing in Mad Magazine.

    Actually, I think Tiger was fleeing the golf club that is over his left shoulder in the photo at the top of the page.
  54. By Word Pecker. Comment posted 04-Dec-2009 @03:45am:
    That Tiger is a Mixed Black.
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