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Wednesday, 17 October, 2007

Lawyers Say The Darndest Things
(with comments)

From the User Agreement/Privacy Policy of Dozier Internet Law, P.C.

Dozier Internet Law, P.C. has a lot of intellectual property on our site. For instance, we are the creators of all of the text on this website, and own the "look and feel" of this website. We also own all of the code, including the HTML code, and all content. As you may know, you can view the HTML code with a standard browser. We do not permit you to view such code since we consider it to be our intellectual property protected by the copyright laws. You are therefore not authorized to do so.

And what does this mean?

We also do not allow any links to our site without our express permission, except that you must maintain the link in our Copyright Infringement Warning Button as it is designed.

If you're a child:

Dozier Internet Law, P.C. does not direct our website to children under thirteen (13) years of age. Individuals under eighteen (18) years of age should consult with their parent or guardian about the use of this website.

And every time you visit their site, make sure you check the user agreement before you do anything else:

When we change the user agreement it will be posted on the website and will apply to all users of our website from that day forward without any additional notice.

No wonder lawyers have such a bad reputation.

(via Consumer Law & Policy Blog)

Permalink | Posted in General |
  1. By Jon. Comment posted 17-Oct-2007 @09:14am:
    "For instance, we are the creators of all of the text on this website, and own the "look and feel" of this website."

    Why do they think anyone would want to copy the "look and feel" of their website; it's a rubbish piece of design!

    Also, viewing the page source is not at infringement of someone else's property. To be fair, no one with any knowledge of web design is going to learn anything from that site.
  2. By another larry. Comment posted 17-Oct-2007 @09:20am:
    why would anyone wish to view their carpy html code?
  3. By Blueberry. Comment posted 17-Oct-2007 @09:26am:
    I just looked at their source code, just because it is not authorized.
    heh heh.
    In agreement with the others. What look and feel are they talking about? It's not ugly. It's just not -- anything.
  4. By J-Walk. Comment posted 17-Oct-2007 @09:56am:
    From their page on spam:

    "Of course, whether you are totally innocent, a little innocent, or truly a high volume illegal spammer, you need quality legal expertise."
  5. By Curtis. Comment posted 17-Oct-2007 @10:03am:
    Lawyers - what poor excuses for human beings. The first thing we do, let's kill them all.
  6. By KS. Comment posted 17-Oct-2007 @10:13am:
    Im in yr site, readin yr code.

    Noooo dey stole my code!!!
  7. By Hosehead. Comment posted 17-Oct-2007 @10:18am:
    From their source:
    // OpenPopUpLite 2.0.1 action by Nate Baldwin, www. mindpalette.com, copyright 2004

    The code that follows this snippet in their HTML source (yes I looked) is verbatim from the OpenPopUpLite script on mindpalette.com. How can they claim they own it? Oh yeah, because they are hypocrites.
  8. By Toad. Comment posted 17-Oct-2007 @10:48am:
    Lawyers - what poor excuses for human beings. The first thing we do, let's kill them all.

    Yee haw! That's riding those Pony Boys real hard and putting them back in the stall wet!

    Uh, I guess that didn't make sense.
  9. By TrevOverT. Comment posted 17-Oct-2007 @10:51am:
    You know J-Walk, you're gonna get a whacking great bill for mentioning their site... I'll donate a Canadian dollar seeing as how it's worth more than a US one...
  10. By Pancho. Comment posted 17-Oct-2007 @11:01am:
    If you want to get back at 'em lawyers, just google "work injury" or "on the job injury" and click on the paid ads. Chances are the lawyer's paying upwards of $35 for your click. Go crazy.
  11. By Curtis. Comment posted 17-Oct-2007 @11:11am:
    Toad - I was being ironic. Maybe you were too. Lawyers, the new white meat.

    That only makes sense if it makes sense to you.
  12. By Pancho. Comment posted 17-Oct-2007 @11:15am:
    hubbies and mommas luvem
  13. By another larry. Comment posted 17-Oct-2007 @11:19am:
    I'll donate a Jimboy's Taco dollar seeing as how it's worth more than a US one...
  14. By Toad. Comment posted 17-Oct-2007 @11:33am:
    Curtis, I knew you were, and I was jest tryin' to be funny.

    As for lawyers being the new white meat, I thought Lindsay Lohan was the new white meat. But maybe she's the new Paris Hilton. Or both.
  15. By Miss Cellania. Comment posted 17-Oct-2007 @11:42am:
  16. By wally the duck. Comment posted 17-Oct-2007 @12:06pm:
    I'd go visit the site but I know that my browser would automatically cache a copy and if my hard drive would be analyzed as a part of a discovery process an illegal copy of the source code would be found there.

    That's why I think a lot of the carryover of ancient copyright laws into new technology is simply stupid. It is extended in ignorance by agencies and by courts who don't really understand either the intent or the reality. The lawyers who put that site on the web extended it for public use - AND COPYING, whether they added qualifying language or not. Their action should be seen as a release from copyright in any rational court. And don't even start on the Microsoft attitude...
  17. By Chris J.. Comment posted 17-Oct-2007 @03:00pm:
    You slay me..
    My buddy has a baseball analogy for your style of humor.
    He calls it Painting the corners
    You pitch what appears to be some random comments, but the darn things are always in the strike zone.
    For a stupid, useless, rotten, worthless, ought to be dead, lawyer, you're a very witty guy.
    Hopefully we can meet in hell for a few laughs.
  18. By 12-stringer. Comment posted 17-Oct-2007 @04:46pm:
  19. By Toad. Comment posted 17-Oct-2007 @06:00pm:
    Chris J, thanks for the compliment, but that "Pony Boy" remark was a direct lift from our very own Curtis. He made that remark when speaking of Ann Coulter. Normally, as a lawyer, I'm happy to take credit for things I didn't really do. In this case, however, Curtis knows where I live, and might beat me up.
  20. By J-Walk. Comment posted 17-Oct-2007 @06:07pm:
    If he starts to beat you up, just fire up the Chocolate Fountain. Nobody can be violent when the chocolate is flowin'.
  21. By Imagineer. Comment posted 17-Oct-2007 @07:22pm:
    I don't know any funny lawyer jokes. I don't know any funny lawyers either. I've tried to live my life without lawyers in it. So far, so good.

    Used to be a Provincial champion debater while in college. My dad wanted me to be a lawyer. I would rather chew my leg off in a leg-hold trap...
  22. By Imagineer. Comment posted 17-Oct-2007 @07:35pm:
    Yikes. Mail from Revenue Canada. Could be a cheque but, just in case, does anyone know a good tax lawyer?
  23. By Toad. Comment posted 17-Oct-2007 @07:39pm:
    Used to be a Provincial champion debater while in college.

    Yes, yes. The "champions" go on to great things. The "masters" go on to become lawyers.
  24. By Imagineer. Comment posted 17-Oct-2007 @07:50pm:
    The master-debaters, you mean, Toad? I used to keep my last debate trophy plaque in our Rocky Mountain outhouse. Moments of glory.

    So, with NAFTA and all, are you accepting Canadian clients these days? Thinking of fleeing Canada and investing in sub-prime loans down your way...
  25. By Imagineer. Comment posted 17-Oct-2007 @08:35pm:
    Damn. Another bubble has burst and the 'smart' money has long gone.

    Just one freebie question, Toad. We live pretty close to the border. The Canadian dollar is at about 1.02 US. If I cross the border--and back--ten times a day, is that a 20% return and who do I pay taxes to? I'd feel much better knowing I was supporting the War on Terror and not the Fiasco in Afghanistan, if possible.

    Also, can I deduct lunch?
  26. By Mary. Comment posted 17-Oct-2007 @11:31pm:
    Just happened to come across this tonight, from Terry Pratchett in Wyrd Sisters:
    "There must be a hundred silver dollars in here," moaned Boggis, waving a purse. "I mean, that's not my league. That's not my class. I can't handle that sort of money. You've got to be in the Guild of Lawyers or something to steal that much."
  27. By Imagineer. Comment posted 18-Oct-2007 @05:10am:
    As Warren Zevon used to say, "Send lawyers, guns and money. Dad, get me out of this..."

    Here's his kid and Dylan's kid and the Wallflowers' version.

  28. By Copyright Ranger. Comment posted 18-Oct-2007 @06:46am:
    Yeah, but who you gonna call when the State Trooper just pulled you over and you had one too many to drink? Who you gonna call when you receive a summons that you did not pay your alimony you dead-beat? You gonna call a lawyer, that's who, 'cause no one else can give a damn.
  29. By Dinsdale Piranha. Comment posted 18-Oct-2007 @06:56am:
    What do you call a plane full of lawyers?


  30. By Dave (TDC). Comment posted 19-Oct-2007 @04:58am:
    Copyright Ranger.
    Nobody sane would deny the need for lawyers, but do they need to be so greedy?
    Sure some do some pro-bono work, but I would have thought rather than doing the odd free job to salve their conscience, if they charged a reasonable amount they might be better regarded.
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