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Wednesday, 14 June, 2006

Free Spanking Paddles
(with comments)

For parents on a budget: FREE Spanking Paddles!

For maximum effect:

  • Have the child tell you the reason they are being punished.
  • Parent should wait one minute between each swat.
  • Apply no more than 5 swats per day.
  • Spank only on the rump.
  • Child must be wearing clothes.
  • Use force sufficient only to get the child's attention.
  • Support child's torso so no stress can be placed on their spine.

The paddle is free, but you have to pay $5.75 for shipping.

Permalink | Posted in Products |
  1. By Wendy!. Comment posted 14-Jun-2006 @07:00pm:
    My brother made a paddle for my mom in shop class. It had a "flaw" in it, and broke upon the first use. An Historical Moment in my family.

    Interesting directions: swat yourself on the rump and adjust your swing appropriately.
    I cant imagine that I would swat my own rump the same way I would swat another rump. But maybe I am just uncoordinated.
  2. By NoAlias. Comment posted 14-Jun-2006 @07:18pm:
    I only smacked my kids with my bare hand. Then I knew it wasn't too hard, but just sufficient to get their attention and make my point.

    They have grown up to be very well-adjusted contributors to society, no violent tendencies and no deep-seated hatred for their parents.
  3. By Chris J. Comment posted 14-Jun-2006 @07:20pm:
    And if you bathe them in the blood of Jesus, you can knock the hell out of them!
  4. By biff. Comment posted 14-Jun-2006 @08:01pm:
    Apply no more than 5 swats per day.

    If you're swatting per day I think there's a problem.
  5. By Toad. Comment posted 14-Jun-2006 @08:17pm:
    Can you save up unused swats, and "roll them over"?

    Isn't the paddle supposed to have holes drilled in it, for maximum punishiosity?
  6. By mmmark. Comment posted 14-Jun-2006 @10:58pm:
    Here's a picture of child-beater and child, both lovingly adoring their paddle. http://www.spare-rods.com/WhyBother.html

    It is never right to hit a child for bad behavior, just as it is wrong to hit adults because they do something you don't like. Unless you want to teach your children that violence is a valid response to a non-violent action, I suggest you avoid hitting them when they "disrespect" you (one smack with a stick per his brilliant chart).

    If an act of direct defiance occurs- such as yelling "Stop hitting me!"- a little girl gets three more hits per the chart.

    Using non-violent methods of resolving conflict is a gift that parents, and all adults, can give to children. It is much more effective than hitting them with sticks, and gives them the tools to resolve their own conflicts without using sticks, or their fists, or a gun. It is being used in negotiations around the world, and within families.
  7. By hcmomof4. Comment posted 15-Jun-2006 @01:25am:
    mmmark, I always found that when telling a toddler/young child, "If you don't stop sticking your finger in the electric socket, you're going to get hurt" and following it up with a smack on the hand, the pain was much less than if they had to learn exactly how much it would hurt if they continued to stick their finger in the electric socket. And negotiating/reasoning with a 3 year old is a loosing battle.
  8. By girlatheist. Comment posted 15-Jun-2006 @02:07am:
    When I was raising my kids I found that a piece of hot wheels track did a great job "reminding" them to straighten up and fly right. All done lovingly, of course....

    The amazing thing about the occasional swat.... the kids would much rather behave themselves than get a swat on the behind.
  9. By Rob. Comment posted 15-Jun-2006 @03:02am:
    Hey hcmomof4, I completely disagree with you. Would it be OK if I showed you how completely I disagree with you by coming round your place and punching you squarely in the face? I'll bring some socket protectors with me, too.
  10. By Poophead. Comment posted 15-Jun-2006 @06:42am:
  11. By Sheldon. Comment posted 15-Jun-2006 @06:49am:
    In the real world, if you keep misbehaving, somebody probably will punch you.

    I worked at a facility for mentally ill children, most of them had been unsuccessfully punished (spanked and beaten) for their problems. The place was hard core with the time out stuff though, and unless the kid was psychotic, it worked.
  12. By elfrijole. Comment posted 15-Jun-2006 @08:19am:
    Girlathiest, My mom did the same thing with hotwheel tracks. She had a garage sale, and we put them up for sale. Those things sucked. Maybe she wasn't using them in a "loving" way. I have an aversion to hot wheels to this day.
  13. By Gee.... Comment posted 15-Jun-2006 @09:38am:

    Me too on the smackin' with my hand and me too with the well adjusted contributor.

    Humans, with all our brain size, are just another beastie in the jungle. The great apes swat, restrain and cuff their mis-behaving youngsters. Horses bite and kick the crap out of each other. Canines nip and restrain. It's a common part of nature to get a youngster's attention with a smack. Abuse is one thing, getting the attention of a self-absorbed kid is another.
  14. By Francois Tremblay. Comment posted 15-Jun-2006 @12:09pm:
    Anyone who hurts children, even for "education", should burn. Seriously. You people are horrible.
  15. By no longer listening to you. Comment posted 15-Jun-2006 @12:18pm:
    I have always believed that a good smack on the butt is a great idea. I beat my kids all the time. They don't like it... or me, but I'm not there to be liked. I'm there to keep them in control. I say never let them get away with anything, whoop 'um good! Use what ever you find, coat hanger, belt, wood paddle, hot wheel track or a switch cut from an old willow tree. Just don't use your hand... it hurts when you hit real hard.
  16. By mmmark. Comment posted 15-Jun-2006 @02:11pm:
    hcmomof4: I used electric socket protectors when my kids were too young to avoid their curiosity about electric sockets. But that is just one example, and I'm sure you don't only hit your kids when they stick their fingers in there, right? Do you hit them if they scream in a store? Or if they hit their sibling? Or spill their milk?

    It is easy because we are bigger and stronger to use force on children. But what will happen when they are teens and force no longer works? Parents say "my kid is out of control" when they are out of the PARENT'S control.

    Kids need to learn SELF control. That means the kid learns to act in a HUMANE way because it is the right thing to do, not because a big man is going to hit them if they don't. Because when the big man is not there anymore, the incentive to do right will also disappear.

    Yes, 'gee...' animals nip their offspring. They also eat their own feces, screw in public places, and sometimes kill their young. Do you?
  17. By Gee.... Comment posted 15-Jun-2006 @03:01pm:
    How many grown children to you have mmmark?

    I have one who works full time, goes to University and has lots of friends and is kind and smart and so very well adjusted.

    I'm just giving my opinion on this subject from personal experience.
  18. By Mary. Comment posted 15-Jun-2006 @03:14pm:
    The whole subject is like the subject of guns: there's as much difference between a rare swat and child battering as there is between defense of one's home and family with a small gun or an Uzzi.

    My mother and father wouldn't dare hit each other so they both hit the kids; you didn't have to do anything wrong, just be available when the lid blew off. My father used his hands, backhand or slap, and often his fist, and my mother preferred a switch cut from a pepper tree, though she'd use her hands if she didn't have a switch handy.

    None of it hurt half as much as the words.
  19. By Mary. Comment posted 15-Jun-2006 @03:29pm:
    I had only one child and would sooner die than hit her, regardless of what the statistics say. When she was 17 and completely out of control, one day she called me a bitch and I slapped her. She was speechless for once. I ran to the phone and called my doctor and screamed that I'd just hit my daughter.

    He asked me if I'd split her lip or broken her teeth; horrified, I said, "No, of course not." He asked me if I hit her hard enough that I needed medical attention for my hand; of course not. Then he told me that, had I spanked her once in awhile when she was younger, it never would have come to the point where I needed to call my doctor because I slapped her when she was 17. He knew us well.

    There are people who "spank" their kids (or threaten to) every five minutes; the kids actually get bored with it and it loses all effectiveness. There are others who "spank" WAY too hard and all they produce in their kids is hate. But there is a middle road and sometimes it's effective.
  20. By mmmark. Comment posted 15-Jun-2006 @05:25pm:
    'Gee...': I have two children, 14 and 11. Of course not every child who gets a little spank on the bottom is going to grow up to be violent or anti-social. Especially if their parents are caring and loving people who set good examples for behavior in other ways.

    BUT... there is so much potential for violence in children's lives, and so many alternatives to physical punishment.

    I am not going to criticize 'Gee...' here. I don't know him or his family. But take a look at Mr. Paddle's web site and his chart. There are many who follow rules such as these. A boss of mine used to go home where his wife would tell him all the "bad" things his daughters did, and he would paddle them. The girls were 10,6, and 4. What could these little girls could do that would warrant a beating each evening. I mean... a 'spanking'.

    We learn best from those we love. Hit, and you teach hitting. Reason, and you teach reasoning. Love, and you teach loving.

    Start here: http://doiop.com/z5jaq1
  21. By hcmomof4. Comment posted 16-Jun-2006 @03:08am:
    "Do you hit them if they scream in a store? Or if they hit their sibling? Or spill their milk?"

    Of course not, that would be inappropriate. If they scream in a store now, I just make them drive themselves home. When they were children, if they screamed in a store, I smothered them, if they hit their sibling they got their hands tied behind their back, and if they spilled their milk, I made them lap it up with their tongue.

    Regardless of what you think, smacking my kids on the hand, or butt, was done only as a consequence of behavior that would cause pain if they were allowed to continue it. Rob's example "Would it be OK if I showed you how completely I disagree with you by coming round your place and punching you squarely in the face?" is overdoing it, but if he regularly punches people in the face for disagreeing with him, then I supposed I'd rather have my hand slapped if I keep wandering in his direction.
  22. By Flintlock P. Harkenfarker. Comment posted 16-Jun-2006 @07:35pm:
    A minute between swats??? Only 5 swats a day??? How do they expect a parent to properly discipline a child with that very, very small amount of punishment? Not doing a chore is 5 swats, not doing all their chores is another 5 swats, stealing is at least 10 swats(Depends on the value of what was taken), hurting anything is 15 swats and lieing is also 15 swats. Other punishments are awarded per the transgression. I gurantee a sore rear-end makes them think twice before sinning again!

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