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Wednesday, 31 August, 2011
Creating A Ministry
I'm continually amazed by the number of ministries out there. We are truly blessed!
I want to start my own ministry. A tiny bit of googling tells me that there are many companies out there who can help me, for a small fee. For example, Church Net USA.
Interested in learning more about the benefits of applying for a church 501c3? ChurchNet USA provides the most experience, the lowest price and the best value in church 501c3 services across the country. We can prepare all of the necessary documentation to secure your church or outreach ministries with 501(c)(3) tax exempt status from the Internal Revenue Service (IRS).
The primary benefits of 501c3 status for churches include: tax deductions for all major donors, eligibility for faith based grant money, lower postage rates for 501c3 churches, and increased credibility among the public.
It's all very confusing. My basic goal is to be able to create a religious ministry so I can sell stuff on the Web, accept donations from suckers, and also get free housing and a car. And, of course, avoid paying taxes. Oh yeah, and save souls.
I'll continue to research it. It's looking pretty good. Based on some of the ministry web sites I've seen, the U.S. Government seems to be the biggest sucker of all when it comes to allowing just about anybody to create a ministry.
One problem: There's already a J-Walk Ministry. But I'm sure I can find a good lawyer, sue their ass out of existence, and take over that name.
No Sonogram Law
It's like those Republicans want the government to be involved in everything. But not this time: Perry-backed sonogram law struck down.
Texas cannot require women to view sonogram results 24 hours before undergoing an abortion, a federal judge in Austin ruled Tuesday.
The law, which would have taken effect Thursday, required physicians to describe in detail the size of the fetus and its organs and make available audio of any fetal heartbeat, according to the Austin American-Statesman.
U.S. District Court Judge Sam Sparks, who was appointed to the bench by President George H.W. Bush, ruled those provisions violated the First Amendment by forcing doctors to engage in government-mandated speech.
Hat Fly-Off Not Right
Sluggo's hat is supposed to fly off his head when he is surprised or shocked. Not when he's mildly amused.
Typing In Tongues
We all know that when a Christian speaks in tongues, it's a sign of great holiness. Now this: Televangelist Juanita Bynum Raises Brows With 'Tongues' Prayer on Facebook.
Here's an example:
GIRD THEM UP IN THE SPIRIT...GIVE THEM A MIND TO PRAY LIKE NEVER BEFORE....WE CALL ON YOU JESUS....YOU ARE OUR HELP AND OUR HOPE!!!!!!!!
NDHDIUBGUGTRUCGNRTUGTIGRTIGRGBNRDRGNGGJNRIC YOU ARE OUR HELP AND OUR HOPE.... RFSCNGUGHURGVHKTGHDKUNHSTNSVHGN YOU GOD...... YOU ARE OUR HELP AND OUR HOPE!!!!!!
OUR HOPE IS IN YOU FATHER......OUR STRENGTH FOR SUCH A TIME AS THIS IS IN YOU FATHER......HELP US NOW......LORD WE DONT ASK FOR HELP FOR JUST THEM....THIS IS US....THIS IS A PART OF OUR OWN BODY..
Here's her website: Juanita Bynum Ministries. And, of course, her store has lots of items for sale.
I really need to start a ministry.
This guy is going for a record: Career Criminal Busted for 99th Time In Chicago.
A Chicago man arrested for the 99th time when he was caught using his 3-year-old child as a ruse to beg for money pleaded guilty at his indictment hearing Monday and was sentenced to 18 months in prison.
He's only 37 years old, so once he gets out of prison he'll have lots of time to bring that total up to 200.
Conservative Women Calendar
This can be yours for $25 (or free if you're a student): Great American Conservative Women 2012 Calendar.
Each month, you'll see a new conservative woman. The only ones I've heard of are Clare Booth Luce, Ann Coulter, Michelle Malkin, and Michelle Bachman.
What? No Sarah Palin?
Why Arizona Is The Best
Claire Lawton came up with 50 Reasons Why Arizona is the Best State in the Country.
- Phoenix is home to the largest indoor laser tag arena in the world.
- Arizona is the only place in the United States where mail is still delivered by mule in Havasupai, at the bottom of the Grand Canyon.
- Frank Lloyd Wright wintered here.
- Irving Berlin wrote White Christmas at the Biltmore, where the Reagans honeymooned.
- Muhammad Ali lives here.
- So do (and did) Alice Cooper and Sandra Day O'Connor.
- So did Barry Goldwater.
- The original London Bridge is located in Lake Havasu City.
Little Icy Cars
Would you pay $19 for a Porsche Ice Cube Tray?
They probably almost look like little cars for about five seconds.
Tuesday, 30 August, 2011
New Way To Dispose Of Dead Bodies
Advances in alkaline hydrolysis: New body 'liquefaction' unit unveiled in Florida funeral home.
A Glasgow-based company has installed its first commercial "alkaline hydrolysis" unit at a Florida funeral home.
The unit by Resomation Ltd is billed as a green alternative to cremation and works by dissolving the body in heated alkaline water.
The facility has been installed at the Anderson-McQueen funeral home in St Petersburg, and will be used for the first time in the coming weeks. It is hoped other units will follow in the US, Canada and Europe.
The makers claim the process produces a third less greenhouse gas than cremation, uses a seventh of the energy, and allows for the complete separation of dental amalgam for safe disposal.
What to do with the liquid?
Body tissue is dissolved and the liquid poured into the municipal water system.
If you're looking for some free MP3s, last.fm has a bunch.
And you don't even need an account. If you find anything good, post it.
Scott Gundersen's Wine Cork Portraits.
This is is made from 9,217 wine corks.
Turkey Bacon Miracle
Or was it just a coincidence? An angel beggar.
I was on my way into work one morning and was feeling very overwhelmed by all the things I needed to do (I had to put my house up for sale and start packing). I said a little prayer to God and asked Him if He could help me remember to buy some turkey bacon on the way home, so that I could make it for dinner. I'd forgotten to buy it the day before and it was just one more of the things on my list to get done.
"I made my usual trip to the post office and saw Alan again begging at the light. I rolled my window down to give him a dollar, when he suddenly reached down into his bag and said "I have something for you if you would like it."
He handed me a package of cold turkey bacon and asked if I could use it.
He explained that a few minutes earlier a women had given him a bag of groceries, and that since he was a bum he had no way to cook it. I was stunned and said thank you very much I sure could use it.
I drove off thinking did that really just happen? A bum gave me the turkey bacon I needed? I was absolutely floored!
The image shows some random turkey bacon. The woman didn't mention the brand.
Mighty Horn Ministries
Phil Driscoll has figured it out. He's a musician, but he also has a "ministry." The Mighty Horn Ministries.
As far as I can tell, the extent of his ministry consists of selling CDs and accepting donations. If the name seems familiar, you may recall his 2006 tax evasion and conspiracy indictment.
…which charged that the Driscoll's had used their Cleveland, Tennessee-based Christian music ministry in an income-tax cheating scheme, failing to report more than $1 million in income and evading the payment of more than $300,000 in taxes from 1996 to 2000. Also indicted was Lynne Driscoll’s mother, bookkeeper Chris Blankenship, who died just before the trial. It was testified that their ministry took in as much as $2.8 million annually, and according to the prosecution, Phil Driscoll owned an airplane, drove a Porsche, and used money funneled through Mighty Horn Ministries (later renamed Phil Driscoll Ministries), to buy and sell lake houses.
Yessir. I gotta get me a ministry.
Xenu Is A Bad Guy
I learn something new every day. I was reading the Village Voice series on The Top 25 People Crippling Scientology. I always thought Xenu, the space alien, was a deity to Scientologists. That's wrong:
Scientologists do not "worship" Xenu. He is the big bad guy in their origin story -- and it's an origin story that only a minority of parishioners are even aware of, only those who have paid enough money to reach the upper level of OT III (the highest level is OT VIII). Beginning Scientologists are strictly kept in the dark about this material, and are told to avoid any mention of it on the Internet.
In a nutshell, this is what Scientology is all about:
Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard explains that 75 million years ago, a galactic overlord ruling a 76-planet federation had decided to deal with an overpopulation problem by having billions of alien creatures brought to the planet Teegeeack, which we call Earth today. That overlord, who Hubbard names Xenu or Xemu, then blew up the countless aliens with hydrogen bombs, and then trapped their remaining souls, indoctrinating these souls with the use of 3D movies of a sort, and then set them free to wander the planet.
75 million years later, these bodiless, invisible alien souls have attached themselves to us. You might have hundreds in and around your body, and they give you aches and pains, cause you disease, and generally hold you back from your full potential.
Scientologists don't even learn about Xenu until late in their indoctrination -- after they've paid about $250,000.
Quote Of The Day
Presidential hopeful Rick Perry said this in 1994. It's probably still true.
“If Karl Rove hadn’t been my consultant, I would not have been agriculture commissioner today. My brain is like a chicken pot pie. His is like a refrigerator that is all very organized — pickles here, salad there.”
Monday, 29 August, 2011
Evaluating Homeland Security
Good question: Has Homeland Security spending paid off since Sept. 11?
A decade after the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon, federal and state governments are spending about $75 billion a year on domestic security, setting up sophisticated radio networks, upgrading emergency medical response equipment, installing surveillance cameras and bombproof walls, and outfitting airport screeners to detect an ever-evolving list of mobile explosives.
But how effective has that 10-year spending spree been?
Not effective at all. Unless you consider it to be an "economic stimulus" under a different name. It puts people to work and causes lots of new stuff to be manufactured and sold. I'm 100% certain that's the point. It's certainly not to save lives.
"The number of people worldwide who are killed by Muslim-type terrorists, Al Qaeda wannabes, is maybe a few hundred outside of war zones. It's basically the same number of people who die drowning in the bathtub each year," said John Mueller, an Ohio State University professor who has written extensively about the balance between threat and expenditures in fighting terrorism.
"So if your chance of being killed by a terrorist in the United States is 1 in 3.5 million, the question is, how much do you want to spend to get that down to 1 in 4.5 million?" he said.
Human Verification Questions Needed
Making people answer a question before posting a comment here is working great. Not a single spam comment since I implemented it.
But I need your help. The software lets me specify eight questions to ask (chosen randomly), and they get boring real fast. So I've been changing the questions just to keep it more interesting. I'd like to change them every day or two.
So help me out and submit some questions that I can use. The questions must be easy to answer by any human, even if they don't live in the U.S. Examples:
- Good question: What color is a typical tree leaf?
- Bad question: What is president Obama's wife's name?
Submit as many as you like, and I'll keep the good ones handy for future use.
Haircut = Domestic Battery
In a place called Immokalee: Man charged with shaving sleeping girlfriend's head.
An Immokalee man is facing a domestic battery charge after authorities say he gave his girlfriend a hair cut — while she slept.
David Bustos, 26, of the 700 block of Crestview Circle, was arrested Thursday by Collier County sheriff’s deputies at home. Bustos and his girlfriend got into an argument on Tuesday causing Bustos to leave his girlfriend’s home, according to an arrest report.
She told deputies that around 7 a.m. the next morning she awoke in her bed to Bustos shaving her head with an electric hair clipper. He used such force with the clippers that it caused a small cut on her scalp, according to reports.
The victim told deputies that she immediately kicked him off of her and he fled the home.
The unlicensed barber is shown here, looking fairly happy for a mug shot.
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