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"Reducing corporate productivity for 5,098 days."
Sunday, 31 August, 2008
From the British press: Conservatives find the girl of their dreams.
With her beehive hairdo and retro specs, Palin, 44, has a "naughty librarian vibe", according to Craig Ferguson, the Scottish comedian who stars on late-night US television. However, the selection of Palin, the governor of Alaska and a mother of five, as the first female Republican vice-presidential nominee is no joke for the Democrats.
And here's the photo of her they chose:
If you want to show the shootin' side of Sarah, I prefer this one. The other one looks like she's shooting at people, not shootin' at some food.
Albino Pretzel. Logic Needed
wormpicker took a break from picking worms, and opened a bag of pretzel sticks. To his amazement, he found this:
Now howdya suppose that happened? Think I can eBay it? I hope my daughter hasn't already eaten it.
Frankly, I'm gobsmacked. I have no explanation that doesn't involved divine intervention.
After giving it some thought, here's my theory: In the pretzel cooking factory, a new employee found an uncooked pretzel on the floor and tossed it into the pot soon before the others were done. Little did he/she know that you shouldn't do that.
Northern Exposure Contest
A few weeks ago I bought something from Amazon. I also happened to see a promotion for the The Complete 4th Season of Northern Exposure. I enjoy that show -- and I already have the first three seasons -- so I added it to the shopping cart.
I started watching the episodes, and I was really impressed with my memory. Those shows are 18 years old, and yet I remembered them pretty well. On a hunch, I checked the DVD shelf and there it was. Doh! No wonder I remembered it so well. I must have watched it about a year ago.
Amazon should have a feature for old people that gently reminds them if they attempt to buy the same item more than one time.
So some lucky reader gets my extra copy.
The rules of this contest are:
- You must already own the first three seasons of Northern Exposure.
- The first person who can prove #1 by posting a single photo of the three boxes, wins.
The photo must show the three DVD boxes next to your monitor displaying the J-Walk Blog.
Submitting a photoshopped image will result in disqualification and possible execution.
- The winner must be in the U.S.
- The decision of the judge is final.
Proximity To Russia
This is pretty funny: Proximity To Russia Is Irrelevant.
Referring to Sarah Palin...
Fox News' Steve Doocy, with a straight face, insisted, "[T]he other thing about her, she does know about international relations because she is right up there in Alaska right next door to Russia."
This morning, Cindy McCain made the exact same argument, telling George Stephanopoulos, in response to a question about national security experience, "[R]emember, Alaska is the closest part of our continent to Russia. It's not as if she doesn't understand what's at stake here."
I guess that makes me an expert on international relations with Mexico.
This is nicely done: Play With Spider.
My Type Of Humor
People can find humor in everything. Even type. Typographunnies.
- A font walks into a bar. The bartender says "Hey, we don't serve your type here." and he called the Serif.
- What typeface do fish fear most? Gill Sans.
- What kind of fonts do Campbell's Soup lovers prefer? Anything Condensed.
(via The Presurfer)
All of the instruments in this video are made of matchsticks.
How many states have a female governor? Eight. They are:
- Alaska - Sarah Palin (R)
- Arizona - Janet Napolitano (D)
- Connecticut - M. Jodi Rell (R)
- Delaware - Ruth Ann Minner (D)
- Hawaii - Linda Lingle (R)
- Kansas - Kathleen Sebelius (D)
- Michigan - Jennifer Granholm (D)
- Washington - Christine Gregoire (D)
Pre-Labor Day Caption Contest
This photo was sent over the wire, but it lacked a caption. Can you help?
Saturday, 30 August, 2008
Here We Go AgainAnother one: New Orleans evacuation ordered.
Warning that Gustav is the "mother of all storms," Mayor Ray Nagin late Saturday ordered a mandatory evacuation of the West Bank of New Orleans for 8 a.m. Sunday and the east bank for noon.
"We want 100 percent evacuation," Nagin said. "It has the potential to impact every area of this metropolitan area."
Katrina had a footprint of about 400 miles, he said. Gustav is about 900 miles and growing, Nagin said.
"This is worse than a Betsy, worse than a Katrina," he said...
Anyone who opts to remain in New Orleans "will be on your own," Nagin warned, adding that services will not be available.
Update: Bush is on top of it this time.
President George W. Bush calls Texas Governor Rick Perry, Saturday, Aug. 30, 2008, to discuss the impending storms that are expected to strike Texas and areas of the Gulf Coast region as a result of Hurricane Gustav.
Note that he's holding a red folder that reads, "CLASSIFIED." He knows more than we do.
One More Palin Post
The last of the week. I promise. It's probably the best editorial on McCain's VP pick that I've read. Steve Benen writes: Manifestly Unserious.
A few excerpts:
This is the single most ridiculous development in presidential politics in a generation.
McCain was asked a while back about what he'd look for in a running mate. He said the "key" is to find the person "most prepared to take my place" in the event of a crisis. McCain spent the ensuing months with a motto: "Country first."
I don't doubt for a moment that Sarah Palin is a nice person and probably a competent Alaskan governor. But she also has the thinnest background of any candidate for national office since 1908. Is McCain willing, with a straight face, to argue that Palin is the single "most prepared" person in the entire United States to assume the presidency should tragedy strike? Is anyone, anywhere, prepared to argue that McCain has put "country first"? Of course not; these ideas are literally laughable.
Palin's qualifications are, to a very real degree, secondary to the issue at hand. What matters most right now is John McCain's comically dangerous sense of judgment. He picked a running mate he met once for 15 minutes, who's been the governor of a small state for a year and a half, and who is in the midst of an abuse-of-power investigation in which she appears to have lied rather blatantly.
She has no obvious expertise in any area, and no record of any kind of federal issues. McCain doesn't care.
Sensible people of sound mind and character simply don't things like this. Leaders don't things like this. It's the height of arrogance. It's manifestly unserious. It's reckless and irresponsible. It mocks the political process...
We're poised to learn a great deal about Sarah Palin, but we've just learned even more about John McCain. He's fundamentally unsuited for the presidency.
Yep. It might seem like a great way to get votes when you're behind. But if it pans out, we'll have a soccer mom with five kids waiting to become the leader of U.S. if Grampa McCain kicks the bucket.
If you plan to attend the Minnesota State Fair: Fairborne's Fabulous Fair Food Finder.
For example, if you're hungry for bacon, Big Fat Bacon appears at the top of the list.
Offering: 1/3 lb slice of bacon fried and carmelized with maple syrup, served on a stick with dipping sauces
( photo source)
If you like ugly cars, this is for you: The 100 ugliest cars.
We reveal the ugliest cars of all time as chosen by readers of The Daily Telegraph.
Some of them aren't very ugly. But some of them are really ugly. Here's #82, NSU Prinz IV.
Two Time Covers
Two covers: On Verge Of Nomination Speech, Obama The Menace.
Compare the new TIME cover with their October '06 edition when Obama was still, what they termed, a "fresh face" (as opposed to a man, they see now, as having at least five of them). What was a smile then has turned toward a grimace. The eyes are slightly narrowed conveying more wariness, even skepticism. And then, in place of the white background and the proclamation of a title, Obama floats ominously in the dark, the color contrast and his merger with the shadows making him darker as well.
The weird thing is that they are both based on the same photo. I made an animated GIF so you can compare them.
McCain Vs. Van Halen
It seems that every week, there's a new story about McCain's music. Here's the latest: McCain Offends Van Halen, Sucks at Music.
This time around, he's angered the ax legend that made hammering cool. The bad news? The tune is "Right Now," from Van Halen's Sammy Hagar era, arguably the band's worst. You decide.
Evidently, McCain's campaign blared the track during a speech in Ohio, at which point the band complained that he should've chosen Twisted Sister instead.
"Permission was not sought or granted nor would it have been given," a Van Halen representative told TMZ.
And some trivia:
Sarah Palin, according to the Associated Press, has named one of her five children Trig Paxson Van Palin, in honor of the band.
Attending A Healing Crusade
Shalini Sehkar relates her first-hand experience of a healing crusade.
I recently attended a 'healing crusade' where people expected Jesus to somehow cure their illnesses while children die of starvation in Africa.
Did it convince me that something supernatural was going on? No.
Granted, nobody was literally smacked on the forehead like what happens during Benny Hinn's crusades, but it was a painful experience to sit through. The room was packed with true believers, and I felt exasperation overwhelming me. It took every ounce of effort not to start screaming and yelling at everyone to simply open their eyes to the deception that they have willingly entered into.
She was really looking forward to the promised evidence to conclusively prove the existence of one true god. But she was disappointed:
First, he asked the crowd how many people have only one biological father. When the audience raised their hands, he continued with Since nobody could have more than one biological father, it is only possible to have one god as well. It is impossible to have more than one god, as it is impossible to have more than one biological father.'
Then, the healing part began. She writes:
A cancer patient who had undergone several rounds of chemotherapy claimed that she felt a decrease in the numbness in her right side. She also felt that the cancer had been ёreduced by 90%'. How would this be possible to determine without a medical check-up? Despite the patient's obvious credulity and willing acts of self-deception, I felt really sorry for her. Would she stop her chemotherapy treatments because she feels that her cancer is all but gone? I would never know, but somehow I hope that somewhere along the line, her skepticism kicks in.
The anger and pity coursing through me when she gave her testimony at the front was indescribable.
Solve Captchas For Fun And Profit
For desperate people: Inside India's CAPTCHA solving economy.
No CAPTCHA can survive a human that's receiving financial incentives for solving it, and with an army of low-waged India CAPTCHA breakers human CAPTCHA solvers officially in the business of "data processing" while earning a mere $2 for solving a thousand CAPTCHA's, I'm already starting to see evidence of consolidation between India's major CAPTCHA solving companies.
One of these companies is decaptcher.com. I went to their site to check it out.
Using the advertisement in blogs, social networks, etc significantly increases the efficiency of the business. Many services use pictures called CAPTCHAs in order to prevent automated use of these services. Solve CAPTCHAs with the help of this portal, increase your business efficiency now!
The first step is to register. To keep out the riff-raff, registering requires solving a captcha. I gave up after I failed to guess any of these:
Obviously, I'm not cut out to be a professional captcha solver.
Perhaps the most boring prayer ever:
Lady of Prompt
Sucker Succor. Here's a small excerpt:
Our Lady of Prompt Succor, pray for us.
Our Lady of Prompt Succor of all who invoke you with confidence, pray for us.
Our Lady of Prompt Succor of all who are devout toward the Infant Jesus, pray for us.
Our Lady of Prompt Succor for obtaining a lively faith, pray for us.
Our Lady of Prompt Succor for sustaining the hope of Christians, pray for us.
Our Lady of Prompt Succor for obtaining and persevering in charity, pray for us.
Our Lady of Prompt Succor for observing the law of God, pray for us.
It goes on and on and on like that.
Just think if you were the Lady of Prompt Succor, sitting on a throne up in Heaven. Would you like to listen to that all day long, over and over?
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