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Wednesday, 28 February, 2007

New Lyrics

Probably everyone who has an AOL account on the Interweb Tubes has seen this -- except me.

Some of the artists of the '60s are revising their hits with new lyrics to appeal to aging baby boomers. They include:

  • Herman's Hermits - Mrs. Brown, You've Got a Lovely Walker
  • The Bee Gees - How Can You Mend a Broken Hip
  • Bobby Darin - Splish, Splash, I Was Havin' a Flash
  • Ringo Starr - I Get By With a Little Help from Depends
  • Roberta Flack - The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face
  • Johnny Nash - I Can't See Clearly Now
  • Paul Simon - Fifty Ways to Lose Your Liver
  • Commodores - Once, Twice, Three Times to the Bathroom
  • Marvin Gaye - I Heard it Through the GrapeNuts
  • Procol Harem - A Whiter Shade of Hair
  • Leo Sayer - You Make Me Feel Like Napping
  • The Temptations - Papa's Got a Kidney Stone
  • Abba - Denture Queen
  • Tony Orlando - Knock 3 Times on the Ceiling if you Hear Me Fall
  • Helen Reddy - I am Woman, Hear me Snore
  • Willie Nelson - On the Throne Again
  • Leslie Gore - It's My Procedure and I'll Cry if I Want To

I came up up with these:

  • The Angels - My Boyfriend's Dead
  • The Outsiders - Time Won't Let Me Do Anything
  • The Box Tops - Bend Me, Shake Me Out Of My Coma
  • Pete Seeger - This Land Is Your Land, Thanks to My Will
  • Steppenwolf - Magic Carpet Cleaner
  • Betty Everett - The Droop Droop Song
  • The Righteous Brothers - You've Lost That Feeling In Your Left Leg
  • Elvis Presley - Can't Help Falling Down The Stairs and Breaking My Hip
  • Nancy Sinatra - These Slippers Are Made For Keeping My Feet Warm When The House Gets a Little Chilly

Can you think of some others?

Permalink | Posted in Music @6:53pm | Comments (52)

Pick Heil!

I guess the truth was bound to come out. Hitler played the banjo - and he did it left-handed. Proof:


Permalink | Posted in Banjo @5:02pm | Comments (11)

Dylan Sings Dr. Seuss

Have a listen: Dylan Hears a Who!

(Thanks Kip)


Permalink | Posted in Music @4:55pm | Comments (5)

Who Wants Popcorn?

All of a sudden popcorn doesn't look very appealing: Inside A Bag Of Microwave Popcorn.

Ok, so this isn't exactly Movietone News or anything, but we didn't realize that whatever was in microwave popcorn was quite that nasty looking. We will never again wonder why the bag is opaque.


Permalink | Posted in Food & Drink @4:53pm | Comments (7)

Rove Speech Report

Stephanie Silvas, a student at Texas State University writes: Rove's speech results in untactful, embarrassing protests.

Despite political controversy, it was an honor to have Karl Rove speak at our campus Tuesday. If only more Texas State students felt the same way.

Rove made his second visit to Texas State as part of this year's Communication Week. He first visited the campus in 2002. It is a privilege to have the deputy chief of staff for President Bush visit the campus.

But not everyone seemed to agree. The first few seconds of the lecture were disrupted when a young male questioned Rove's participation with the outing of former CIA agent, Valerie Plame. The remainder of the 40-minute lecture was sprinkled with sarcastic laughs and rude comments...

wouldn't consider Rove as someone whom I agree with or would normally defend, but he is certainly someone who deserves my respect. He is a political genius. Anyone who says different is blinded by his or her own prejudices.

Is she saying that someone who will do absolutely anything to get his party in power qualifies as a genius? I think she is.

Rove has successfully campaigned for gubernatorial, senatorial and presidential candidates. He is known as "Bush's Brain," "The Boy Genius" and "The Architect" because he has changed the face of politics and is considered to be the most powerful political consultant in U.S. history.

She forgot "Turd Blossom."

The last 20 minutes of Rove's lecture included some interesting information on how communication fits into the world he lives in at the White House. He brought up difficulties the White House faces in dealing with untrained Web loggers and non-journalists. Rove said they have no ethical responsibility for what they write.

Ethical responsibility? Since when does ethics matter in politics?


Permalink | Posted in Politics @10:46am | Comments (11)

Polaroizer

I've probably posted this before. If so, here it is again: Polaroize. Upload a photo, click a button, and you get a Polaroid-like image. Like this:

You can get this same effect with Office 2007. Just import an image and use the new picture tools.

(via The Generator Blog)


Permalink | Posted in Interactive @10:39am | Comments (1)

Reading Report

Education news: A Bad Report Card.

The news from American high schools is not good. The most recent test results from the National Assessment of Educational Progress, commonly known as the national report card, finds that American 12th graders are actually performing worse in reading than 12th graders did in 1992, when a comparable exam was given. In addition, 12th-grade performance in reading has been distressingly flat since 2002, even though the states were supposed to be improving the quality of teaching to comply with the No Child Left Behind education act.

The new scores, based on tests given in 2005, show that only about 35 percent of 12th graders are proficient in reading. Simply put, this means that a majority of the country's 12th graders have trouble understanding what they read fully enough to make inferences, draw conclusions and see connections between what they read and their own experiences. The math scores were even worse, with only 23 percent of 12th graders performing at or above the proficient level.


Permalink | Posted in General @10:38am | Comments (8)

Astrologists Say The Darndest Things

I had no idea astrologists could be so funny. Lynn Hayes writes: Saturn Neptune and the Pseudoscience debate.

She describes the problem:

A battle on the internet over religion seeks to "dump religion from our culture," says the individual who started the Blasphemy Challenge on YouTube. "We want to get rid of this supernatural belief in the same way that it would be great if we could dump astrology or phrenology and all of the other pseudosciences."

Then she explains it:

This confrontation (Saturn) over the mysterious (Neptune) is clearly reaching a head as Saturn opposes Neptune, and the conflict is becoming very frothy indeed. It will be interesting to see what happens over the next few months as the cycle continues until its conclusion next summer.

(via Brian Fleming)


Permalink | Posted in General @7:37am | Comments (8)

Advances In Paralysis Beams

I want one! Army Developing Paralysis Beam.

The U.S. Army is working on a modified 7.5-million-candlepower strobe light in hopes of creating a paralysis beam.

Although details are sketchy, it appears that U.S. government acquisition records call for contractor Peak Systems to ...

"...design and fabricate a light-based immobilisation system/deterrent device and integrate it with an unmanned aerial system. This will include any necessary medical research on frequency and amplitude modulation of high-intensity light that will cause immobilisation to all those within the beam."

The Peak Beam Systems device can apparently be pulsed with a strobe effect that has some effect on the human nervous system. The Maxa Beam shown above has quite a range, too. It can illuminate targets as far as 1.5 miles away.

The Maxa Beam is small enough to be hand-held, which is a vital factor in the US Army's selection of the device. The ultimate goal is to mount the device on a UAV (Unmanned Aerial Vehicle) for crowd-control.


Permalink | Posted in General @7:34am | Comments (14)

Keeping Out The Riff-Raff

Disney news: Disney sues to block low-cost housing.

The Walt Disney Co. is suing the city of Anaheim over a controversial residential project that would add low-cost housing in the city's resort district.

Disney has long opposed the proposal to build 1,500 condominiums and apartments, including 225 units for lower income residents, near its amusement parks. The entertainment company says residents would be out of place in a district designed for tourists.

"This lawsuit speaks to how important we view this Anaheim resort area and that we make sure the vision sticks," said Disneyland spokesman Rob Doughty.

Besides, those people can't afford the $232 admission fee for a family of four.


Permalink | Posted in General @7:30am | Comments (8)

Free Hex Nut

This is a pretty good deal, but supplies are limited: Walmart Brand Chicken: Now With Steel Hex Nut?


Permalink | Posted in Food & Drink @7:24am | Comments (11)

Playground Thrills

I wonder why they don't make this anymore? Metal Barrel Revolving on Pipe Adds to Playground Thrills.

Hung lengthwise through the center on a horizontal pipe, a revolving metal barrel has proved a popular addition to the playground equipment of a park in Pasadena, Calif. Attempting to stand erect on the barrel requires almost acrobatic skill.

My understanding is that the park was packed with anxious lawyers.


Permalink | Posted in General @7:21am | Comments (7)

Biblical Origin Of Negroes

It's amazing what you can learn at a white supremacist site: The Biblical Origins of Negroes.

Here's on opinion:

As I understand it on the 6th day of creation God created the ethnic peoples of the world, science seems to agree with this also. Remember a day with the Lord is like a 1,000 years. On the 8th day of creation God made Adam, the first white guy. God Bless and Peace be with you.

And another:

From what I have studied on this subject this is what I think; The Negro is a member of the Ape family and were known in Biblical times as the "Chayee Behemah" which means "Beast" in Hebrew. This is translated as "Beast of the Field". Negroes are acknowledged as separate from the descendants of Adam, therefore the Negro race is not Adamic and is a different species.


Permalink | Posted in General @7:19am | Comments (14)

The Kennedy Diary

Page through JFK's White House diary. A few excerpts:

  • Sunday, August 18, 1963: Cruise aboard a jet boat with Mrs. Kennedy, Caroline, John, Jr., Sydney Lawford, and Senator and Mrs. Edward Kennedy, Hyannis Port, Massachusetts
  • Sunday, August 25, 1963: President Kennedy cruises with his family and friends, Hyannis Port, Massachusetts
  • Sunday, September 1, 1963: President Kennedy cruises aboard the Honey Fitz, Hyannis Port, Massachusetts
  • Sunday, September 8, 1963: President Kennedy cruises aboard the Honey Fitz, Hyannis Port, Massachusetts
  • Sunday, September 15, 1963: President and Mrs. Kennedy and Mr. and Mrs. Ben Bradlee cruise aboard the Honey Fitz, Newport, Rhode Island
  • Sunday, September 22, 1963: Cruise aboard the Honey Fitz with Mrs. Kennedy and Mr. and Mrs. Paul Fay, Newport, Rhode Island

The man did like his Sunday cruises. But he occasionally took a day of rest:

  • Sunday, September 29, 1963: President Kennedy rests at the home of singer Bing Crosby in Palm Desert, California before returning to Washington, D.C.

(via Tom McMahon)


Permalink | Posted in General @7:15am | Comments (2)

The Shirt Bib

A product that's so popular, it's out of stock at Amazon: Shirt Bib.

But you can get one at the manufacturer's site.

(via Grow-A-Brain)


Permalink | Posted in Products @7:06am | Comments (6)

Advertising Confession

This seems like a good idea: Ad campaign urges Catholics to return to confession.

Between Oprah Winfrey and the therapist's couch, is there any role left for the church confession?

Noting that the number of Catholics taking part in the key rite has plunged, the Archdiocese of Washington launched its biggest marketing blitz last week, advertising on buses, subway cars, a billboard, radio and in 100,000 brochures in an effort to get people back to the confessional.

The unusual campaign - whose slogan is "The Light is On for You" - highlights the church's alarm that Catholics are ignoring a fundamental ritual meant to keep them holy and close to God.

They should have some type sale: This week only, no penance for adultry!

Meanwhile: California Diocese Plans Bankruptcy Filing.

The Roman Catholic Diocese of San Diego said Tuesday that it planned to file for bankruptcy protection to put off going to trial in more than 140 lawsuits alleging sexual abuse by priests.

Attorney Micheal Webb said the diocese planned to file for bankruptcy protection by midnight, just hours before the first trial was scheduled to go forward Wednesday in a San Diego courtroom. A Chapter 11 filing automatically halts court proceedings.


Permalink | Posted in Religion @7:02am | Comments (3)

Tuesday, 27 February, 2007

Virus Carriers

Here's a small sample of some of the virus-carrying email I've received in the past week or so. The title is in bold, followed by the message. The point, of course, is to get you to open the attachment.

  • Approved document - Here is the document. Yours sincerely.
  • Abuse list - Hello! Please notice the attached document. Thanks.
  • Contact list - Please, contact list.
  • Concept - Note that I have attached your document.
  • Hello - The information. Thanks.
  • Your document - Hi! Your bill.
  • Thanks you! - Please read quickly. Thanks.
  • List - My list.
  • I love you! - Your big love.
  • Notice: **Last Warning** - Please read the attached document and follow it's instructions.
  • hwf - The original message has been included as an attachment.
  • Email Account Suspension - Please read the attached document and follow it's instructions.
  • Information - That's wrong.
  • *DETECTED* Online User Violation - We regret to inform you that your account has been suspended due to the violation of our site policy, more info is attached.
  • Error - Transaction failed. Show the doc!
  • Phone number - I have spent much time for your document.
  • How's the mood? - Hi, drop me a line today, ok? And see the program I'm sending. Bye!
  • You cannot do that! - Let's be short: you have no experience in writing letters!!!
  • Important Notification - I found your picture online. Is this you?
  • A!p$ghsa - See the ghg5%&6gfz65!4Hf55d!46gfgf Server Error #203 +++ Attachment: No Virus found
  • Automailer - Explain!
  • Excel document - Hi! Please read the attached document. Thank you
  • Unknown - Docs?

I guess people still fall for these, eh?


Permalink | Posted in Spam & Scams @2:47pm | Comments (23)

Tools For Cooking

At Mental Floss, Miss Cellania compiled a bunch of photos (and links) about Cooking With Tools.

My favorite is Grilled Cheese Sandwiches Made With an Iron.


Permalink | Posted in Food & Drink @10:54am | Comments (16)

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