A few examples:

• Sit on a big, thick book
• Mail a surprise toaster
• Amputate favorite limb
• Freeze your clutter
• More crying but quieter
• Resimplify your simplicity

I'm going to try that toaster-related one.

In response to an environmental lawsuit filed against the oil giant, Chevron has fortified its defenses with at least twelve different public relations firms whose purpose is to debunk the claims made against the company by indigenous people living in the Amazon forests of Ecuador. According to them, Chevron dumped billions of gallons of toxic waste in the Amazon between 1964 and 1990, causing damages assessed at more than $27 billion.

The company is being criticized by people and organizations from across the social and political spectrum for its unethical behavior in regards to the case. Originally filed in U.S. federal district court back in 1993, the lawsuit was eventually moved to courts in Ecuador at Chevron's behest. Having initially lauded Ecuador's legal system in an effort to have the case moved there, Chevron later changed its mind and began attacking the system when that system found the company liable for damages.

Shareholders are also upset with Chevron for its gross mismanagement of the case in which it has sidestepped the rule of law and employed guerilla-style tactics in a last ditch effort to fend off an unfavorable ruling.

The media, including the blogosphere, talk radio, and cable news is all abuzz over President Barack Obama's mispronunciation of the word "corpsman" in praising American military personnel at the National Prayer Breakfast.

President Obama pronounced "corpsman" as "corpse man" twice in the same address. This mispronunciation has caused quite a bit of ridicule about a man who ascended to the presidency based upon his rhetorical skills.

Good thing I'm not president. I would have pronounced it the same way. It's not a word that I've ever spoken before. I don't think I've even heard it spoken.

Supreme leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei said on Monday that Iran is set to deliver a "punch" that will stun world powers during this week's 31st anniversary of the Islamic revolution.

"The Iranian nation, with its unity and God's grace, will punch the arrogance (Western powers) on the 22nd of Bahman (February 11) in a way that will leave them stunned," Khamenei, who is also Iran's commander-in-chief, told a gathering of air force personnel.

The country's top cleric was marking the occasion when Iran's air force gave its support to revolutionary leader Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini, a key event which led to the toppling of the US-backed shah on February 11, 1979.

Bighorn sheep are everywhere in northwest Tucson. The iconic beasts are seen in galleries, on signs, and in public art. The rams show up as subdivision logos and school mascots. The town of Oro Valley's seal features the silhouette of a ram. Small consolation to be honored so by the species that drove them out.

Bighorns are omnipresent save for one place. On top of Pusch Ridge they are conspicuously absent. Outdated trail signs wrongly note their existence on the ridge, posing a question that is emblematic of the changing West. Should the U.S. Forest Service change the signs to reflect the reality that they are gone?

Irony is common here in the West. First we carelessly vanquish the subjugated. Then we celebrate the vanquished by transforming them into kitsch.

Vulgar replicas of our lost treasures appeal to popular taste and proliferate. We festoon our sterile yards with rusted metal likenesses of the native wildlife you're lucky to ever glimpse.

We hawk bigger-than-life bronzes of Native Americans depicted with a romantic awe that was utterly absent when we rolled across their world centuries ago.

We honor the vanquished by turning them into things that serve as sentimental totems for our regret.

• Worst Chips Ever. The winner is Sepasang Naga Squid Cracker.

I had a need to test, and as the bag said, "If you think of test, please try squid cracker," so I complied. The initial odor is that of a 3-day-old fish market in a third world, or at least the section of the fish docks where the chum isn't even processed. Once you're over that, the rest of the chip isn't that bad.

It comes looped together in deep-fried curls of 3 or more strands, which can only be assumed to be squid strands. The actual consistency is that of cheap styrofoam. And I mean cheap, as in not the high-quality foam used to protect electronic equipment; it's more the sytrofoam used to protect $2 Christmas ornaments. The actual taste is that of dead fish, not really squid as the bag promises. It's also not the taste of say, dead grilled salmon, more like the dead fish that didn't make it into shore via net, but rather was carried in by the tide. That's about it. It tastes like dead fishy styrofoam.

• Best Chips Ever. The winner is Tim's Cascade Style Hot Jalapeno Seasoned Potato Chips.

These are truly some of the best chips I've ever had. If you can't handle really hot stuff, don't even try them. They're really hot. Really. I mean, eat one or two, and you're all set. Definitely plan on having these with a cold beverage. But heat isn't all they've got going for them. They're also really thick, crisp and crunchy. These are truly good chips.

A quick check on Google tells me that this is pretty much true everywhere. If you go to a tax assessor Web site, you'll almost always see the name (and usually a photo) of the person responsible.

Can anyone explain this? Why doesn't the notice just come from the Office of the Assessor? Why must a person's name be listed? Is there really just one person doing all the work?

The answer is probably common knowledge, but it just seems odd to me.

The authorities do not know exactly how many people have been killed warbling "My Way" in karaoke bars over the years in the Philippines, or how many fatal fights it has fueled. But the news media have recorded at least half a dozen victims in the past decade and includes them in a subcategory of crime dubbed the "My Way Killings."

The killings have produced urban legends about the song and left Filipinos groping for answers. Are the killings the natural byproduct of the country's culture of violence, drinking and machismo? Or is there something inherently sinister in the song?

Whatever the reason, many karaoke bars have removed the song from their playbooks.

Sing along:

For what is a man what has he got
If not himself then he has not
To say the things he truly feels
And not the words of one who kneels
The record shows I took the blows
And did it my way

A Mexican church in the central city of Queretaro has opened a chapel in which exorcisms can take place.

There are no accurate figures for the number of exorcisms in Mexico. But the Roman Catholic Church says that in Mexico City alone there are about 10 cases a month - and the phenomenon is on the rise.

Critics say that priests often mistake mental illness or epilepsy for signs of possession. The new church will only treat people already seen by doctors.

Belief in possession and exorcism is common in a country where more than 90% of the population is Catholic.

After 40 years, H.J. Heinz Co. is playing catch-up with the design of the beloved yet frustrating ketchup packet, making it bigger and easier to open.

The company Thursday unveiled the Heinz Dip & Squeeze for restaurants. The cuplike container -- the first major ketchup packet design change in 42 years -- gives users a choice of peeling back a lid for dipping or tearing off a tip to squeeze onto foods. It holds more than three times the amount of a traditional packet.

It certainly looks innovative.

A soldier waterboarded his four-year-old daughter because she was unable to recite her alphabet. Joshua Tabor admitted to police he had used the CIA torture technique because he was so angry.

As his daughter 'squirmed' to get away, Tabor said he submerged her face three or four times until the water was lapping around her forehead and jawline.

Tabor, 27, who had won custody of his daughter only four weeks earlier, admitted choosing the punishment because the girl was terrified of water.

Tabor, a soldier at the Lewis-McChord base in Tacoma, Washington, was arrested after being seen walking around his neighbourhood wearing a Kevlar military helmet and threatening to break windows.

An Australian street performer has set a new Guinness World Record by swallowing 18 swords at the same time.

Chayne Hultgren, aka The Space Cowboy, swallowed the blades, each of which was 72 centimetres long, in Sydney this morning.

The 31-year-old from Byron Bay said he was thrilled to have made history. "It's amazing," he said. "I've been preparing for this since I was 16."

His secret?

"I don't just straight away grab 18 blades and shove them down my throat - you've got to practise a lot and build up to it.

"So I stretch my throat with hoses and use a few different techniques to basically enable me to do what, until now, has been impossible."

Here is a man in his 50's, so personally familiar with the redemptive suffering of our Lord, a man married for many years with SEVEN children by this woman- and he has an affair with a young woman, and announces her pregnancy on - Jay Leno?? His wife divorces him and he is now apparently living with his new lover and his 8th child. And the next big step in his life will apparently be announced through the late night comedy format once more.

I agree. If you're going to waste your time praying for something, waste it on praying for a celebrity.

Closer inspection of a photo of Sarah Palin, during a speech in which she mocked President Obama for his use of a teleprompter, reveals several notes written on her left hand. The words "Energy", "Tax" and "Lift American Spirits" are clearly visible. There's also what appears to read as "Budget cuts" with the word Budget crossed out.

It's a terrible site design, but if you dig around you'll find lots of great photos. Like this banjo, from Roane County, Tennessee:

We don't need no steenkin' tailpiece.

As if their outdoor billboards advertising "H1N1 NOW AVAILABLE" weren't confusing enough, they've now apparently printed up stickers and started slapping them on every surface in the store with no sense whatsoever of how this could be just a bit incongruous.

The Board of Game voted to allow Alaskans to own hybrid wild cats if owners can prove the pet is at least four generations removed from a wild ancestor.

The board, however, rejected a call to legalize monkeys as pets and also said no to finches, wallaroos, kinkajous and devenomized reptiles.

Monkey fans argued the state should legalize a small breed called Capuchins that are trained in small numbers by a Boston nonprofit organization as helpers for the disabled. But the state Department of Fish and Game recommended against allowing monkeys, writing that primates are at risk for inhumane treatment and spreading disease.

A pink version of the popular Ouija board game has some critics seeing red.

The children's sleepover staple - sold by Hasbro since 1967 - now comes in hot pink, an edition released two years ago that gets tweens to call on "spirits" to spell out answers to life's pressing questions.

It's designed for young girls ages 8 and older, but some say the mysterious product is a "dangerous spiritual game" that opens up anyone, particularly Christians, to attacks on their soul.

"There's a spiritual reality to it and Hasbro is treating it as if it's just a game," said Stephen Phelan, communications director for Human Life International, which bills itself as the largest international pro-life organization and missionary worldwide... Phelan, who has never played the game, said the Bible explicitly states "not to mess with spirits" and that using a Ouija board will leave a person's soul vulnerable to attack.

The solution is simple: Pass a law that makes it illegal to sell a pink Ouija board to a Christian. Violators will be sent to hell.

If you're not a Christian, you can buy one at Amazon.com -- where a few reviewers are also upset.

Officially he was the first gentleman of Alaska. More people called him the "first dude." But newly released e-mails show that Todd Palin was busy doing more than snow machine driving and salmon fishing during Sarah Palin's two and a half years as governor and vice presidential candidate.

Nearly 3,000 pages of e-mails that Todd Palin exchanged with state officials, which were released to msnbc.com and NBC News by the state of Alaska under its public records law, draw a picture of a Palin administration where the governor's husband got involved in a judicial appointment, monitored contract negotiations with public employee unions, received background checks on a corporate CEO, added his approval or disapproval to state board appointments and passed financial information marked "confidential" from his oil company employer to a state attorney.

How about a Palin/Palin ticket in 2012?

The House on Thursday voted to allow the government to go $1.9 trillion deeper in debt - an increase of about $6,000 more for every U.S. resident that provided a vivid election-year reminder of the nation's perilous financial condition.

The huge debt increase, approved 217-212, is only enough to keep the government afloat for about another year as it borrows more than 40 cents of every dollar it spends on programs like defense, health care, feeding the poor and protecting the environment. The budget tops $3.7 trillion this year and the deficit's approaching $1.6 trillion under the budget submitted by President Barack Obama this week.

The huge increase - to $14.3 trillion - in the cap on federal borrowing was designed by Democratic leaders to ensure that the rank and file won't have to vote again to run up another increase before facing voters increasingly angry over government spending and debt in the November midterm elections.

Already, the accumulated debt amounts to roughly $40,000 per person.

• Maggie: A Girl of the Streets - Stephen Crane
  A girl from the slums becomes a fallen woman. Because it's a controversial topic, you have to read between the lines to figure it out. I read it on the Kindle, and towards the end some parts were repeated -- so maybe some parts were missing. It wasn't worth trying to find a better version.
• Farewell, My Lovely - Raymond Chandler
  That Chandler guy can write. I liked the book so much I watched the movie (called Murder, My Sweet). The novel is about 50 times better.
• Life On The Mississippi - Mark Twain
  Twain tells the story of the time he spent on riverboats, in a series of badly organized chapters. Some of it was fascinating, and some of it wasn't. He needed an editor.
• Two Years Before The Mast - Richard Henry Dana Jr.
  I always thought this was a novel. It's the true story of Dana's 1935-36 1835-36 journey from Boston to California (then part of Mexico) via Cape Horn. He served as a common sailor, and the point of the journey was to bring back 40,000 cattle hides. The technical parts could have been omitted, but most of it was great reading. It includes an addendum, written 24 years later when he revisited California after it became part of the U.S. Dana Point is named after him.