Not Obvious Ghost Movie Recommendations

Curtis is back with Round 2 of his movie thing. The rules are:

Each person may list one to four not obvious films they recommend from the week's category. Films that are not in the category should be saved for future lists.

THIS WEEK'S CATEGORY: Ghost Movies

People who don't conform to the rules and stay within the week's category are just lazy bastards and will suffer their just desserts in the Afterlife.

REMEMBER! NOT OBVIOUS FILM CHOICES!

(Signed)
Curtington

Meeting Everett True, Part II

This morning I posted the first panel from a 2-panel Everett True cartoon. People have been emailing me all day, wanting to see how it comes out.

Well, here it is:

One of the commenters at the original post predicted the outcome:

If Mr. True is true to form, the next panel will show him beating the ever loving crap out of that miserable slob.

He's a mackerel head, not a miserable slob.

Missing Brandy

In Yuma, Arizona: Time capsule unearthed.

A small crowd gathered around the site of a time capsule that was buried in 1985 on Main Street to watch as it was unearthed. Inside were letters from Somerton residents, photographs, an old VHS tape and a 1981 Time magazine with a picture of President Ronald Reagan on the cover.

But there was a surprise. Pancho Soto, Somerton's supervisor for the Streets and Solid Waste Department, explains:

"I was surprised when we opened it. There was a bottle of brandy, and right now it's not there. What happened? I don't know. When we buried it, the bottle was there. I thought it was going to be there and I told my friends and co-workers it was going to be there."

No one seems to know what happened to that brandy. It's a mystery. An enigma.

Advances In Gibberish

Church news: New Life Pastor Asks Christians to Embrace Speaking in Tongues.

New Life Church is "one of those tongue-talking churches," the senior pastor said unashamedly on Sunday. His statement was met with applause from the Colorado Springs mega-congregation.

Pastor Brady Boyd acknowledges that there's a wide range of teachings on the spiritual gift of speaking in tongues. To some, it's foreign or weird and to others, it's no longer active.

But Boyd believes the spiritual practice is as real today as it was 2,000 years ago when believers in the very first church service spoke in tongues (as recorded in the New Testament).

Speaking in tongues, Boyd said, could be used to communicate the Gospel to unbelievers.

But how would we be able to distinguish between the two types of gibberish?

We need more of this:

Shocking Shamrock Shortage Shatters Shelebrations

Not good news: Shamrock shortage in Ireland sparks St. Pat's fears.

A severe shamrock shortage is threatening St. Patrick's Day in Ireland and the "wearing of the green," according to leading botanist Dr. Declan Doogue of the Royal Irish Academy.

The shamrock was "hit hard" by the severe winter weather and "won't be easily found" this week, said Doogue, who also stated the national plant was under threat because of modern farming methods.

In its place, bogus shamrock plants are being used, he said, stating that he hoped the shamrock that President Obama would receive from Irish Prime Minister Brian Cowen would be the real thing.

We can only hope.

iPad Battery Replacement

iPad owners: Free iPad With Every Replacement Battery.

Apple tells us that when you eventually send your iPad in to have its battery replaced, Apple will just send you a new iPad instead. The Battery Replacement Service will cost $100.

Not really true. They send you a refurbished iPad.

People who buy that diamond-studded iPad aren't going to be very happy.

Praying To The Wrong God

Boycott news: Some Skip Islamic Prayer in Va. House.

By the invitation of a Virginia lawmaker, a controversial Muslim cleric delivered the opening prayer on Thursday at the start of the House of Delegates' session.

About a dozen delegates did not attend the prayer of Johari Abdul-Malik.

"I'm going to be somewhere else saying the Lord's Prayer," Delegate John Cox (R-Ashland) told CBN News. "It's just not something that I feel like I can condone as an individual."

As it turns out, they claim that they don't mind Islam prayer. They just don't like Abdul-Malik:

Abdul-Malik is the outreach director at the Dar al-Hijrah Islamic Center in Falls Church, where two Sept. 11 hijackers briefly worshipped. He was not affiliated with the mosque at that time and has condemned terrorism but some Virginia lawmakers and citizens still had concerns.

Nancy In Zippy

For the record, Sunday's Zippy The Pinhead featured a celebrity guest.

I'd like to see Sluggo in an outfit like that.

(Thanks Dean)

Threatened With Bone Cutting Scissors

It's rare to see a news story that involves bone cutting scissors, but here's one from Florida: Man threatens father with bone-cutting scissors.

Sheriff's deputies arrested a man who allegedly threatened his father with a pair of bone-cutting scissors on Tuesday. Deputies say Billy Pierce, Jr. [shown here], 36, got into an argument with Billy Pierce, Sr., 58, when the two were in the bathroom of their house.

Pierce, Sr. told deputies his son was getting upset about his health. That's when Pierce, Jr. allegedly held a "pair of black bone cutting scissors" about a foot from his father's stomach, according to the incident report.

Why would someone have bone cutting scissors in their bathroom?

Pierce, Jr. said he was in a "homicidal mood" and had the scissors in the bathroom because he was going to cut his hair.

Well, I believe the story. His hair could use a bit of a trim.

Deputies say the scissors were black with a plastic handle, and the exposed tip was a half-inch to an inch. "The scissors could cause permanent disfigurement and even death if these scissors were used to stab someone," the incident report read.

I Googled bone cutting scissors and found this image. I couldn't find a black pair with a plastic handle.

Not exactly the best tool for a haircut.

Apple Doesn’t Own “i”

A startling trademark development that could change the world as we know it: Apple's legal blow will be an 'i' opener.

Apple has been told that it no longer has a monopoly on the letter ''i'' as a prefix for its products.

A trademarks tribunal has refused Apple's bid to stop a small company from trademarking the name DOPi for use on its laptop bags and cases for Apple products.

The California-based technology company argued that the DOPi name - iPod spelt backwards - was too similar to its own hugely popular portable music player, which has sold more than 100 million units worldwide.

While the case does not affect Apple's current trademarks, companies wanting to use the ''i'' prefix will now have a better chance of getting away with it, according to lawyers.

That's good news. I have a great product idea: iDrops.

(Thanks wormpicker)

Woman Attempts Record

A worthy life goal: The mother who is determined to become the world's fattest woman.

She's Donna Simpson, and she's starting out at 600 pounds.

The 42-year-old from New Jersey, U.S, is set on reaching the 1,000lb mark (71st) in just two years. Remarkably she insists she is healthy, despite now needing a mobility scooter when she goes shopping.

'I'd love to be 1,000lb,' she said. 'It might be hard though. Running after my daughter keeps my weight down.'

To achieve her goal, Donna says she will need to eat up to 12,000 calories a day (the average woman should consume only 2,000.) To fund the massive $750 weekly food shop, she runs a website where men pay her to watch her eat fast food.

She sums up her philosophy:

'I love eating and people love watching me eat,' she said. 'It makes people happy, and I'm not harming anyone.'

Craziest Cities

A list of America's Craziest Cities.

The largest 57 metropolitan areas cities are ranked using using four criteria: psychiatrists per capita, stress, eccentricity and drinking levels.

The top-10:

1. Cincinnati
2. San Francisco
3. Providence
4. Milwaukee
5. Las Vegas
6. Philadelphia
7. New York City
8. Tucson
9. San Antonio
10. New Orleans

Meeting Everett True

Here's the first of a 2-panel comic called the Outbursts of Everett True.

Later today, I'll post the dramatic conclusion.

IRS Collectors

Five people sent me this story, so it must be worthy: IRS visits Sacramento carwash in pursuit of 4 cents.

Arriving at Harv's Metro Car Wash in midtown Wednesday afternoon were two dark-suited IRS agents demanding payment of delinquent taxes. "They were deadly serious, very aggressive, very condescending," says Harv's owner, Aaron Zeff.

The really odd part of this: The letter that was hand-delivered to Zeff's on-site manager showed the amount of money owed to the feds was ... 4 cents.

Inexplicably, penalties and taxes accruing on the debt - stemming from the 2006 tax year - were listed as $202.31, leaving Harv's with an obligation of $202.35.

Zeff, who also owns local parking lots and is the president of the Midtown Business Association, finds the situation a bit comical. "It's hilarious," he says, "that two people hopped in a car and came down here for just 4 cents. I think (the IRS) may have a problem with priorities."

Shown here is the actual car wash -- not just some random car wash.

YouTube Won’t Film Her

At Yahoo Answers: How to get youtube to film you?

I have been calling, calling, and calling YouTube like crazy to come film some videos for me but they won't come. I do not understand how other people get there videos on YouTube. YouTube needs to come film me cuz i have some funny things to show the internet

The "best answer" is in the form of ASCII art:

(via Blame it on the Voice)