Sunday Caption Contest_0314

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New Guns For Department Of Education

In a post-911 world, everyone needs to be armed: Education Department buying 27 shotguns.

Why is the Education Department purchasing 27 Remington Brand Model 870 police 12-gauge shotguns?

The guns are to replace old firearms used by Education's Office of Inspector General, which is the law enforcement arm of the department.

I'm not sure if this is the exact model, but it's a nice-looking gun. And it costs less than a good banjo.

Holy Woman Dies Praying

In Florida: Woman who died alone while fasting was following God's call, husband says.

Evelyn Boyd was on a mission to pray - for her husband, her church, her city, the nation and the president. So on Feb. 7, she locked herself in a bedroom to pray and fast. She brought water and prayer requests and told her husband not to bother her.

And he didn't bother her -- for more than three weeks.

But on the 26th day, family members forced the door open. They found her dead.

The Polk County Sheriff's Office says it appears she died because of the fast. Deputies don't plan to file charges because they believe she fasted willingly and her family said she was mentally sound, Sheriff Grady Judd said.

The Polk County sheriff sez:

"I'm a god-fearing man, and I can tell you, God doesn't intend you to fast yourself to death."

Her husband is the bishop of Higher Praise Full Gospel Ministries International, Inc.

Pigs Allowed To Relax

Today's feel-good story: Chinese city orders perks for pings pre-slaughter.

A city in central China is advocating a more humane way of killing pigs to improve the taste of the pork, ordering they get up to a day of rest and relaxation before they go to the slaughterhouse.

"After long-distance transport, the rest can help pigs get rid of tiredness," an official at the commerce commission in Zhengzhou, capital of Henan province, told AFP on Thursday.

"The rest will ensure the pork has the best taste and will prevent water-logged pork entering the market," said the official, who refused to be named.

According to a report in the state-run Shanghai Daily, officials have suggested slaughterhouse employees play music to the pigs and pat them to help them relax before they are killed.

Those who fail to comply will be "severely punished."

Not Obvious Movies: Westerns

Remember that Not Obvious Movie Recommendations post from last week?

The request was to name "not obvious" movies in the Western genre. Curtis was kind enough to compile the results, along with links to Amazon so you can read more about them.

• Sabata
• The Ballad of Cable Hogue
• They Call Me Trinity
• The Stalking Moon
• The Professionals
• Rio Bravo
• The Milagro Beanfield War
• High Plains Drifter
• The Long Riders
• Cat Ballou
• Barbarosa
• The Frisco Kid
• Lonely Are The Brave
• Red River
• The Proposition
• Ride the High Country
• Shalako
• Mccabe & Mrs. Miller
• Once Upon a Time in the West
• Dead Man
• Last Man Standing
• Come Back to the Five and Dime, Jimmy Dean, Jimmy Dean
• Broken Arrow
• My Name is Nobody
• The Magnificent Seven
• Maverick
• The Three Burials of Melquiades
• Estrada
• Rancho Deluxe
• The Life and Times of Judge Roy Bean
• Hearts of the West
• Will Penny
• The Girl From San Lorenzo
• Two Gun Caballero
• Lone Star
• Tampopo
• The Ropin' Fool
• The Five Man Army
• The Searchers
• The Outlaw Josey Wales
• Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia
• The Hired Hand
• Zachariah
• Young Guns

He even provided all of the DVD cover images. You can download them here: westerns.zip. The DVD cover shown here, Sabata, is probably the only one that features a banjo gun.

I think Curtis will be suggesting another genre for Round II.

Dead Body Towed Away

In New York: Police tow funeral home van with body inside.

For one New Yorker, the journey to the Pearly Gates involved a detour to the city's car pound.

On Monday, the New York City Police Department towed an illegally parked van carrying a body. The van, parked outside Redden's Funeral Home on West 14th Street, was to transport the body to Newark for a flight.

According to the New York Daily News, DeNigris said he went inside the funeral home to get paperwork and answer a phone call. When he returned, the van was gone -- along with the body that was in a white cardboard box, the newspaper said.

"I was just a wreck," he told the newspaper. "I was frantic. When something like that happens, you go into panic mode."

But it all worked out:

DeNigris recovered the van about 90 minutes later, stuck in vehicular purgatory -- the city's pound. The police waived the towing fee, $185, to expedite the vehicle's release, said Paul Browne, deputy commissioner of public information for the police.

(Thanks Blayne)

DST In Arizona

A map of Arizona, found at Time Genie:

Arizona does not observe daylight saving time. Arizona is on Mountain Standard Time (MST) throughout the whole year.

The only exception to this rule is the Navajo Nation which does participate in daylight saving time. This is due to the large size of the Navajo Nation and the fact that the nation is located in three states. Examples of communities within the Navajo Nation that observe daylight saving time include Ganado, Kayenta, Tuba City and Window Rock.

The Hopi Nation, which is entirely surrounded by the Navajo Nation, does not observe daylight saving time. Examples of communities within the Hopi Nation include Hotevilla-Bacavi and Old Oraibi.

So, if you're in one of those non-yellow parts of Arizona, don't bother setting you clocks forward tonight. Rather, spend the time in the morning adjusting all of your "smart" clocks.

Utah Stunned

It doesn't take much to stun Utah: GOP leader's skinny-dip confession stuns Utah.

A late-night confession by Utah's House majority leader about sitting nude in a hot tub with a minor 25 years ago has shocked this conservative state's political establishment but has not prompted calls from party leaders for him to resign.

Rep. Kevin Garn, 55, acknowledged the indiscretion late Thursday immediately after the Legislature adjourned for the session. He said he paid the woman, Cheryl Maher, now 40, $150,000 to keep quiet about the episode when he unsuccessfully ran for Congress in 2002.

"Although we did not have any sexual contact, it was still clearly inappropriate - and it was my fault," said Garn, of Layton.

Scandals of this nature are rare in Utah politics, where there's a heavy Mormon influence, so the fallout Friday was pronounced.

Another Way To Make Sluggo’s Hat Fly Off

Someone sent me this, but didn't explain it:

It's difficult to explain. All I know is that Sluggo's hat flies off his head. That's good enough for me.

Pope Under Fire

This could be good: Pope under fire for transfer, letter on sex abuse.

Germany's sex abuse scandal has now reached Pope Benedict XVI: His former archdiocese acknowledged it transferred a suspected pedophile priest while Benedict was in charge and criticism is mounting over a 2001 Vatican directive he penned instructing bishops to keep abuse cases secret.

The revelations have put the spotlight on Benedict's handling of abuse claims both when he was archbishop of Munich from 1977-1982 and then the prefect of the Vatican office that deals with such crimes - a position he held until his 2005 election as pope.

The pope, meanwhile, continues to be under fire for a 2001 Vatican letter he sent to all bishops advising them that all cases of sexual abuse of minors must be forwarded to his then-office, the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, and that the cases were to be subject to pontifical secret.

Germany's justice minister, Sabine Leutheusser-Schnarrenberger, has cited the document as evidence that the Vatican created a "wall of silence" around abuse cases that prevented prosecution.

Ratzo doesn't care. He can just claim diplomatic immunity.

Lexical Ambiguity

Found at Wikipedia:

"James while John had had had had had had had had had had had a better effect on the teacher."

It's an English sentence used to demonstrate lexical ambiguity and the necessity of punctuation, which serves as a substitute for the intonation, stress and pauses found in human speech. In human information processing research, the sentence has been used to show how readers depend on punctuation to give sentences meaning, especially in the context of scanning across lines of text.

The phrase can be understood more clearly by adding punctuation and quotation marks:

James, while John had had "had", had had "had had"; "had had" had had a better effect on the teacher.

Which means:

"It was the case that while John used 'had,' James used 'had had.' The teacher preferred 'had had.'"

Stacked Books

Paul Octavious stacks books, and then photographs them: The Book Collection.

(Thanks Silver -- who says, "you can't do this with a Kindle")

Quote Of The Day

Just when you thought the guy couldn't be any more stupid. Today's quote is from Ken Ham. He's referring to atheist bloggers who make fun of his Creation Museum and his new "I am not ashamed" ad campaign:

"It is not just our stand on creation and a young earth (as opposed to evolution and millions of years) that they ultimately object to. They are angry at God! They hate God's Word-and that is the real issue."

Lucozade

The final panel from an old Lucozade ad:

Background:

John complained because he came home to a cold supper -- for the third time in a week. The wife said she was too tired. As it turns out, she was suffering from a "tiredness peak." So she tried drinking Lucozade. After one sip, she felt better already. Then she started making decent meals for John.

Lucozade is still available, but it's no longer targeted to housewives.

Weekend Open Mic

This weekend, you may win a free tote bag. More likely, you won't.