Threatened With Bone Cutting Scissors
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It's rare to see a news story that involves bone cutting scissors, but here's one from Florida: Man threatens father with bone-cutting scissors.

Sheriff's deputies arrested a man who allegedly threatened his father with a pair of bone-cutting scissors on Tuesday. Deputies say Billy Pierce, Jr. [shown here], 36, got into an argument with Billy Pierce, Sr., 58, when the two were in the bathroom of their house.

Pierce, Sr. told deputies his son was getting upset about his health. That's when Pierce, Jr. allegedly held a "pair of black bone cutting scissors" about a foot from his father's stomach, according to the incident report.

Why would someone have bone cutting scissors in their bathroom?

Pierce, Jr. said he was in a "homicidal mood" and had the scissors in the bathroom because he was going to cut his hair.

Well, I believe the story. His hair could use a bit of a trim.

Deputies say the scissors were black with a plastic handle, and the exposed tip was a half-inch to an inch. "The scissors could cause permanent disfigurement and even death if these scissors were used to stab someone," the incident report read.

I Googled bone cutting scissors and found this image. I couldn't find a black pair with a plastic handle.

Not exactly the best tool for a haircut.

Apple Doesn’t Own “i”
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A startling trademark development that could change the world as we know it: Apple's legal blow will be an 'i' opener.

Apple has been told that it no longer has a monopoly on the letter ''i'' as a prefix for its products.

A trademarks tribunal has refused Apple's bid to stop a small company from trademarking the name DOPi for use on its laptop bags and cases for Apple products.

The California-based technology company argued that the DOPi name - iPod spelt backwards - was too similar to its own hugely popular portable music player, which has sold more than 100 million units worldwide.

While the case does not affect Apple's current trademarks, companies wanting to use the ''i'' prefix will now have a better chance of getting away with it, according to lawyers.

That's good news. I have a great product idea: iDrops.

(Thanks wormpicker)

Woman Attempts Record
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A worthy life goal: The mother who is determined to become the world's fattest woman.

She's Donna Simpson, and she's starting out at 600 pounds.

The 42-year-old from New Jersey, U.S, is set on reaching the 1,000lb mark (71st) in just two years. Remarkably she insists she is healthy, despite now needing a mobility scooter when she goes shopping.

'I'd love to be 1,000lb,' she said. 'It might be hard though. Running after my daughter keeps my weight down.'

To achieve her goal, Donna says she will need to eat up to 12,000 calories a day (the average woman should consume only 2,000.) To fund the massive $750 weekly food shop, she runs a website where men pay her to watch her eat fast food.

She sums up her philosophy:

'I love eating and people love watching me eat,' she said. 'It makes people happy, and I'm not harming anyone.'

Craziest Cities
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A list of America's Craziest Cities.

The largest 57 metropolitan areas cities are ranked using using four criteria: psychiatrists per capita, stress, eccentricity and drinking levels.

The top-10:

1. Cincinnati
2. San Francisco
3. Providence
4. Milwaukee
5. Las Vegas
6. Philadelphia
7. New York City
8. Tucson
9. San Antonio
10. New Orleans

Meeting Everett True
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Here's the first of a 2-panel comic called the Outbursts of Everett True.

Later today, I'll post the dramatic conclusion.

IRS Collectors
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Five people sent me this story, so it must be worthy: IRS visits Sacramento carwash in pursuit of 4 cents.

Arriving at Harv's Metro Car Wash in midtown Wednesday afternoon were two dark-suited IRS agents demanding payment of delinquent taxes. "They were deadly serious, very aggressive, very condescending," says Harv's owner, Aaron Zeff.

The really odd part of this: The letter that was hand-delivered to Zeff's on-site manager showed the amount of money owed to the feds was ... 4 cents.

Inexplicably, penalties and taxes accruing on the debt - stemming from the 2006 tax year - were listed as $202.31, leaving Harv's with an obligation of $202.35.

Zeff, who also owns local parking lots and is the president of the Midtown Business Association, finds the situation a bit comical. "It's hilarious," he says, "that two people hopped in a car and came down here for just 4 cents. I think (the IRS) may have a problem with priorities."

Shown here is the actual car wash -- not just some random car wash.

YouTube Won’t Film Her
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At Yahoo Answers: How to get youtube to film you?

I have been calling, calling, and calling YouTube like crazy to come film some videos for me but they won't come. I do not understand how other people get there videos on YouTube. YouTube needs to come film me cuz i have some funny things to show the internet

The "best answer" is in the form of ASCII art:

(via Blame it on the Voice)

A Caring God
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Not surprising: Many Americans believe God cares who wins the big game.

He gets more Oscar shout-outs than Meryl Streep, is name-checked by every other American Idol contestant and is presumed to have a vested interest in who wins football games.

God, it seems, is as omnipresent as He is omniscient.

And a new Canadian study sheds light on why: the vast majority of Americans believe God is directly concerned with their personal affairs, with most assuming a divine reason for everything from job promotions to speeding tickets.

Specifically:

• Eight in 10 Americans say they depend on God for decision-making guidance.
• Seven in 10 believe that when good or bad things happen, the occurrences are part of God's plan.
• And six in 10 believe God has set the course of their lives.

He even helps with things like choosing the best haircut.

Great Caesar’s Ghost!
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Tom McMahon posted the cover of Action Comics #225: The Death of Superman.

The covers shows a new robotic Superman, complete with vacuum tube electronics. But the best part is Perry White. He's so gobsmacked that his cigar falls out of his mouth.

I wonder if that's ever happened before? Somebody check it.

Sunday Caption Contest
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Caption for this?

New Guns For Department Of Education
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In a post-911 world, everyone needs to be armed: Education Department buying 27 shotguns.

Why is the Education Department purchasing 27 Remington Brand Model 870 police 12-gauge shotguns?

The guns are to replace old firearms used by Education's Office of Inspector General, which is the law enforcement arm of the department.

I'm not sure if this is the exact model, but it's a nice-looking gun. And it costs less than a good banjo.

Holy Woman Dies Praying
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In Florida: Woman who died alone while fasting was following God's call, husband says.

Evelyn Boyd was on a mission to pray - for her husband, her church, her city, the nation and the president. So on Feb. 7, she locked herself in a bedroom to pray and fast. She brought water and prayer requests and told her husband not to bother her.

And he didn't bother her -- for more than three weeks.

But on the 26th day, family members forced the door open. They found her dead.

The Polk County Sheriff's Office says it appears she died because of the fast. Deputies don't plan to file charges because they believe she fasted willingly and her family said she was mentally sound, Sheriff Grady Judd said.

The Polk County sheriff sez:

"I'm a god-fearing man, and I can tell you, God doesn't intend you to fast yourself to death."

Her husband is the bishop of Higher Praise Full Gospel Ministries International, Inc.

Pigs Allowed To Relax
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Today's feel-good story: Chinese city orders perks for pigs pre-slaughter.

A city in central China is advocating a more humane way of killing pigs to improve the taste of the pork, ordering they get up to a day of rest and relaxation before they go to the slaughterhouse.

"After long-distance transport, the rest can help pigs get rid of tiredness," an official at the commerce commission in Zhengzhou, capital of Henan province, told AFP on Thursday.

"The rest will ensure the pork has the best taste and will prevent water-logged pork entering the market," said the official, who refused to be named.

According to a report in the state-run Shanghai Daily, officials have suggested slaughterhouse employees play music to the pigs and pat them to help them relax before they are killed.

Those who fail to comply will be "severely punished."

Not Obvious Movies: Westerns
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Remember that Not Obvious Movie Recommendations post from last week?

The request was to name "not obvious" movies in the Western genre. Curtis was kind enough to compile the results, along with links to Amazon so you can read more about them.

• Sabata
• The Ballad of Cable Hogue
• They Call Me Trinity
• The Stalking Moon
• The Professionals
• Rio Bravo
• The Milagro Beanfield War
• High Plains Drifter
• The Long Riders
• Cat Ballou
• Barbarosa
• The Frisco Kid
• Lonely Are The Brave
• Red River
• The Proposition
• Ride the High Country
• Shalako
• Mccabe & Mrs. Miller
• Once Upon a Time in the West
• Dead Man
• Last Man Standing
• Come Back to the Five and Dime, Jimmy Dean, Jimmy Dean
• Broken Arrow
• My Name is Nobody
• The Magnificent Seven
• Maverick
• The Three Burials of Melquiades
• Estrada
• Rancho Deluxe
• The Life and Times of Judge Roy Bean
• Hearts of the West
• Will Penny
• The Girl From San Lorenzo
• Two Gun Caballero
• Lone Star
• Tampopo
• The Ropin' Fool
• The Five Man Army
• The Searchers
• The Outlaw Josey Wales
• Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia
• The Hired Hand
• Zachariah
• Young Guns

He even provided all of the DVD cover images. You can download them here: westerns.zip. The DVD cover shown here, Sabata, is probably the only one that features a banjo gun.

I think Curtis will be suggesting another genre for Round II.

Dead Body Towed Away
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In New York: Police tow funeral home van with body inside.

For one New Yorker, the journey to the Pearly Gates involved a detour to the city's car pound.

On Monday, the New York City Police Department towed an illegally parked van carrying a body. The van, parked outside Redden's Funeral Home on West 14th Street, was to transport the body to Newark for a flight.

According to the New York Daily News, DeNigris said he went inside the funeral home to get paperwork and answer a phone call. When he returned, the van was gone -- along with the body that was in a white cardboard box, the newspaper said.

"I was just a wreck," he told the newspaper. "I was frantic. When something like that happens, you go into panic mode."

But it all worked out:

DeNigris recovered the van about 90 minutes later, stuck in vehicular purgatory -- the city's pound. The police waived the towing fee, $185, to expedite the vehicle's release, said Paul Browne, deputy commissioner of public information for the police.

(Thanks Blayne)